My brother and cousin’s wife took full charge of things. I was not informed of a thing. How do I respond to this?

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Including my cousin’s wife giving approval of surgery that needed to be performed. I called assistant living to talk with mom and she was not there. They could not tell me anything because I was not on the HIPAA list. Two years ago, I asked for a copy of the Will. Response was, “don’t worry about it, I have everything covered. Mom at 98 just died, same response. Asked for bank account and expenditures, don’t worry about it was the answer, too, last night. I never was rude or did I ever worry. If things are all done with integrity, then, great! Just give me a copy of the requested documents. Why is this so difficult? I teach the medical staff and attorneys and their response is they lift their eyebrows and say that this is not looking good. I know that already, so what do I do now. They say there is no money left in the bank account. The house was sold 6 years ago. Didnt know House was on the market and what it sold for until I researched it a few days ago on Internet. That side of the family is of Italian culture where women are not suppose to worry about it. However, my cousin’s wife is a woman. She never talks to me, but the rest of my family adores me. Even at the viewing and funeral she wanted to take my place as the daughter. Mom never was close to her. My brother lives in FL. I live in VA and we grew up in NJ, same house for 65 years. My cousin’s wife lives very close to assistant living where mom was located. The assistant living told me this is totally unfair to me. I’m the one who always visited mom regularly from VA. They referred me to mom’s attorney for copy or info. He referred me back to my brother. It’s a no win situation. How do I respond to this? I read even if a person in the state of NJ is disowned, they are required a copy of the Will.

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Go to the local court house to see if her estate has been probated. They should be able to provide some info on that.
If your brother and or a nursing home was taking care of your Mom there is a good chance that all assets are gone. Usually the cost of care outweighs and assets available.
If your Mom was on Medicaid I can assure you that she had very little assets because you have to be basically in the poverty level to get Medicaid.
Sorry about your loss and hopefully you can find peace in all of this soon.
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Get an attorney, you will get nowhere on your own.
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Reply to ML4444
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