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I want this post to get over 1000 responses.
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AlvaDeer Feb 2022
;-). ITRR taught me to make that little smiley face!
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Wow, 184 Responses and Counting! Do run away from this boyfriend!

All the Best,
Patathome01
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SHE SOLVED THE PROBLEM. I THINK ITS PAGE 3 SHE GIVES AN UPDATE.
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Alvadeer I see your smiley face and raise you two 😇😇 and one 😈
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Short of canceling your plans, you must lay down the law concerning your MIL. You know how much would be involved in her care and you clearly aren't able to provide that. Your feelings toward her really aren't important. What is important is that you know you won't/can't be a 24/7 caregiver. This could go on for years. At the same time, she is your boyfriend's mother. Technically she is not a stranger. So what to do? Find a lovely apartment that she can live in using the proceeds of the sale of her home. Hopefully, this is in the town she knows near her friends, church, and the like. Research supportive services that can be lined up for when she needs them. Explain to your boyfriend that love is manifested in many ways, and keeping his mom happy in her home town and out of your home is an excellent way to show his love to her and to you. Emphasize the importance of his mother maintaining as much normalcy and independence as possible. It really is the best for everyone. If the time comes that your boyfriend needs to have his mother nearer, insist on a small apartment for her nearer to where you live, not in your home, however. If that seems impossible, then the advice of many of the other responders must be heeded.
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LynnelT4shs Feb 2022
I like your advice and especially since you mentioned eventually an apartment closer, since you see that the boyfriend is obviously going to keep his mother near and you may have little control over the situation. That’s why I was thinking about using the money and getting one of those tiny homes, that way the boyfriend has the best of both worlds and everyone can be (not happy) but at least needs will be met. Having her closer by in a tiny home on your property can also help because as her health declines, paid caregivers can come in a few days a week or so many hours a day as needed and you will have minimum to do for her. Also her son can visit her any time he likes and you may not have to be as involved with her.

hope this helps
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I am the 189th post. Can I get a 190?
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190 can we get 191?
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191
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So you're buying this house 'together', even though you made the whole down payment. He's going to make the payments (he says) once everybody is moved in. If you go along with this, you will not only be taking care of his mother, but you will be making the payments because you are the only one who has a monetary investment in the property. If you don't go along with this, you will probably lose your boyfriend. You're in a tough situation. I think he is using you.
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Post 193. Everyone someone answers this post without reading i will post the next number. Only 7 more to reach 200.
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194
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I think the situation has reached a solution of sorts. Can it finally end?
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Hello just wanted to ask you, if she still has her house but may lose it soon, another alternative could probably be having one of those tiny homes many people are purchasing or building and have this out on your property. Even a nice camper. That way if she has to come there she will not be living inside of the house and if you had to take care of her it wouldn’t have to be 24/7 and you both can still have your privacy.

Also instead of paying for 24/7 caregiving she may qualify for programs out there that will actually pay a family member to provide care for their own family members.
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This thread is like a fruitcake. You dont really want one but it just doesn't feel like Christmas without it. Post #195.
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