My Aunt is living alone and I don't live close by. I don't think she can continue to live by herself but I have no idea what to do about it?

Imho, you should make sure that you're privy to the doctor's protocol at her visit.

There are a lot of very good posts on who to contact for advice & how to start the process of finding a facility. But before you jump in boots & all - ask yourself, can you get out?

If you don't have DPOA, financial authority or guardianship you can't DO anything. Can't help her use her funds to get her home help, can't make her move, can't sign any documents.

Tread carefully! I say this from one who stepped in to help but was mired in the quicksand - I had no authority to change the situation & get out. Xrayjodib can tell you too!

Instead, be an advocate for her. Speak up to a Doctor (or even APS) that she needs a review of needs.

I would begin gathering a list and information regarding assisted living facilities in her area or your area if she is willing to relocate. Touring facilities would be in her and your best interest. If she has funds and is a candidate for assisted living, an application needs to be completed. The area agency okn aging should be able to provide you with a lust of facilities. The physician should be able to tell you what level of care is needed. I would ask to speak with someone else at the agency who would be more helpful. Should her mental state examination indicate dementia, she may be need in memory care. Again the physician should be able to guide you based on her cognitive and physical functioning. Good luck. Some assisted living facilities have a liaison to evaluate potential residents. Good luck.

I would consider hiring a Geriatric Case Manager to assist

GMW7405,
I was in a similar situation.
My Aunt lives in Central California and I live in Montana. My youngest brother lives in Southern California.
Last October my Uncle passed away. I thought I was going to California to simply help my Aunt with funeral arrangements.
Long story short, My Aunt, we discovered has dementia. I am now responsible for her.
Has your Aunt assigned POA to anyone? If not, she needs to.
Keep in mind that if she already has a diagnosis of dementia etc, she can't legally sign anything. That means someone needs to obtain guardianship.
If you or your Aunt don't have the means to take care of her, Medicaid and Medicare my help.
There are numerous means for help.
Was her husband a veteran?
Any life insurance policies that have not been claimed or discovered? You might be surprised at what you can find with a little detective work.
Please feel free to message me if you have any questions!
She's blessed to have you!!
God bless!!

It can come down to what is unhappily called the "ER DUMP". That means the elder is not able to stay alone; there has been a catastrophe, a fall, a fire, a complete mental breakdown. At that point take the following steps.
1. You step AWAY. That means you refuse to take the person home; you ask for Social Services and mental assessment. You ask for placement.
2. You continue, no matter what they say (and they will say a WHOLE LOT such as "We can make this work. We will get you help." The can't. And they won't.
Your aunt will end up a ward of the state and they will provide placement (which you will have NO SAY over) and handle her finances. OR you can get guardianship and do it all yourself. That is a court action if the person is already not mentally capable of appoint you POA.
This is the last drastic move when there really is not another answer. If you can find another answer, try that first, but I CAUTION you not to take the Aunt into your home and your care, nor should your sister. This will complicate things a lot. Be as supportive as you are able with visits and so on, working with social services to try to get placement near a place one of you can visit. Good luck.It is so sad that this is what it comes to in our system. Unfortunately, it is. I am 78. I am the FIRST to say we live too long.

If she is telling people there's no food, but she pretty much has a food hoard going on, she has problems. If aunt's finances allow, hire some in home help - maybe a few hours each day. If sis can go stay a day and a night or two, it would give better insight as to what she needs. It could be as simple as bladder infection. it could be dementia. You really need to know what her day to day abilities are when you are with the doctor to give him info that he needs to know. Often, at the dr these folks can be very rational and make perfect sense which is misleading to the dr's take on things.

Observation will determine how well she can continue alone or if you need to start looking for a facility to find out more about empty beds. This will also help the doctor help you. The type of facility is going to depend on her finances and money available for her ongoing care. If she has very little, it may be the doctor just needs to refer her to nursing home placement where she will use her income and, perhaps, apply for Medicaid, too.

Does your Aunt reheat the brought over meals ok? If so, a meals on wheels service may work as a temporary measure. Sometimes the food is there, but the sequence of preparing & cooking has become too hard.

Would you say this is a gradual loss of ability - or is this a sudden change?

If she cannot reheat a meal, she really can't live alone & needs medical evaluation straight away. Advice the Doctor of this.

While it's admirable you & your sister wish to help, you are not abliged to pick up every task your Aunt is no longer able to do. It won't help her in the big picture - just wear yourselves out.

The doctor can send someone up there to evaluate her for a nursing facility and recommend the next steps..Discuss with the Doctor this month. They will look out for the elderly wisely.....

If at all possible, have aunt assign you or sister or both as durable PoA. Once she has a medical diagnosis of dementia in her records, she cannot do this since she needs to be of sound mind. If she refuses then you can pursue guardianship of her through the courts but this means time and money but you will be able to direct care for her and manage all else, like finances.

If you don't pursue guardianship then the only other option is for the county to have guardianship and then they will place her in a facility that they choose and control everything, including ALL her assets, if she has any. You will still be able to carry on your relationship with her but the guardian will not share any medical or financial info with you. It's not adversarial, it's just that they will be acting on her behalf and not presuming anything about who needs to know what.

Is your sister going to the doctor’s appointment with your aunt? Could she take pictures of the living environment prior to the appointment and send them, along with a letter that relates your concerns to the doctor ahead of the appointment so they are aware of what your relate here? Does anyone have POA for medical and financial matters for your aunt to help her with decisions when she isn’t able?