My aunt is 78 years old and was diagnosed with Dementia. (Just like her mother had) She lives alone-WITH A POOL (doesn't know how to swim) and lives roughly 30-40 minutes away from family. My other aunt (her sister) has Power of Attorney and is not making any steps to find her an assisted living facility. My family does not get a long very well since their parents passed (my grandparents). From what I know, my aunt's doctor has stated she should NOT be living alone. However the POA has not acted on this advice. Someone checks on my aunt about 2 times a week...and sometimes she stays with my mother or the POA if she has doctor appointments. I've watched her behaviors-she doesn't really know how to make food anymore, she can't dress herself, her memory is bad and can't remember recent events. I've called the elder abuse line and they were of no help. I do not know what my options are at this point. I don't want her living alone; she has the money to live in a senior home/assisted living. My deepest fear is that the POA is keeping her alone in order not to "burn through any money" that she may be getting in the will if God forbid something was to happen. Any advise would be appreciated. Thanks!! (And before anyone suggests it-I could not take her in; I have two young children and work full time, I would not have the ability to give her the ongoing care she needs.)

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I understand your concerns. Maybe you could drop in once a week and get a better feel for how your aunt is managing. The elderly are often the forgotten. You are a great niece to be concerned and post here. During your weekly visits you can assess her condition and even though might not be ideal, is she ok and most importantly safe? If not, you could call 911 while you are there witnessing the unsafe situation and they could contact the appropriate services. Best of luck.
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Reply to Sweetstuff

I can understand why you are concerned, but this situation is probably marginal. Your aunt is checked regularly twice a week and also stays from time to time with each of her two sisters – your mother and the aunt with POA. Her behaviour is not ‘perfect’, but many older people manage with limited food options (and some strange clothing combinations). She may want to stay at home, and be very resistant to suggestions for AL. You have no proof about your ‘deepest fear’, ie that this is all about money. You are unlikely to get evidence from her doctor, for privacy reasons. As her niece, you will probably have difficulty getting her removed from her house against her own wishes and the judgement of her POA. It might take an application for guardianship, which isn’t easy, and you may be vulnerable to counter charges that this is just part of family dynamics as you ‘don’t get along very well’. Perhaps you could think about different ways to help, at least until the situation becomes clearer. Dealing with ‘bad choices’ is both stressful and difficult, no matter how obvious it seems to everyone else.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen

She needs to be looked after. Dementia patients should not be living alone. Report it to APS. They will investigate and inform her sister.
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
FoShow562 May 8, 2019
what is APS? I googled it and several things came up but nothing that clicked with the circumstances. (I’m probably just dense!) thank you so much for your suggestion/help!

scratch that-just realized it wasn’t a Adult Protective Services. We did call today, the phone call left me feeling a little discouraged. We will follow up with them next week. Thank you again.
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I agree. It’s possible your aunt has told everyone to back off, but she actually has no say in this since she is not mentally competent. No one should be listening to her. Someone needs to step up for her regardless of the consequences and get her someplace safe. It’s probably going to have to be you and you need to do it now before something tragic happens.
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Reply to Ahmijoy

In California call
State your concerns telling them what you have stated here on this site.
They will check to see if the person is okay if not they will remove that person from the situation.

look at this website for more information
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Reply to hgnhgn

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