She's afraid to leave her house but says she is very lonesome. She eats hardly at all. Doesn't shower. Won't go to the doctor. She refuses to take any medication. How can I convince my aunt to do any of these things?
You cannot "convince" someone with dementia of anything because the disease robs them of their ability to use logic and reason and have short-term memory. I have learned a lot from Teepa Snow videos on YouTube, she's a dementia expert and gives great advice to caregivers.
If your Aunt is living alone, and she has no PoA or made no plans or provisions for her care in these circumstances, then you must contact APS for her county to report her as a vulnerable adult. The county will eventually acquire guardianship of her (timeline for this varies by state and county). They will place her in a facility where she will be protected, and receive care and any medical attention she needs.
In the interim, you may be willing to step in to help her as social services works her case.
Things to remember when interacting with people who have dementia:
1) Agree, do not argue 2) Divert, do not attempt to reason 3) Distract, do not shame 4) Reassure, do not lecture 5) Reminisce, do not ask “Do you remember…?” 6) Repeat, do not say “I told you” 7) Do what they can do, don’t say “you can’t” 8) Ask, do not demand 9) Encourage, do not condescend 10) Reinforce, never force
The overall goals should be to:
1) keep them as calm and peaceful as possible (because they are less and less able to bring themselves to this mental state on their own)
2) keep them physically protected in their environment and from predatory people
3) keep them nourished with healthy foods that they will accept without fighting or forcing
4) keep them in as good a health condition as is possible, that their financial resources will allow and within their desires as expressed in a Living Will (aka Advance Healthcare Directive if they have created one)
5) keep them pain-free as possible and within their desires as expressed in a Living Will (aka Advance Healthcare Directive if they have created one)
If you are waiting for a "blank slate" it most likely will not happen. She needs help with the ADL's or Activities of Daily Living. She may be afraid to shower or she may not remember all the steps that need to be done to take a shower. Many times medications can be crushed and stirred into foods like pudding, ice cream, cereals like oatmeal, cream of rice or cream of wheat. Are there things she likes to do? Take her for a walk around the block. Take her to the Senior Center and see if she would get involved with games. Look for an Adult Day Care program in the area. They typically will pick up and drop off and provide a breakfast, lunch, snack and activities. She gets to socialize with people. There are medications that can be given for the anxiety that she may be experiencing.
You do not give any information in your profile about your aunt If you are asking how long a person can survive after the diagnosis my Husband died about 12 years after his dementia diagnosis. (Diagnosed with Alzheimer's but I think he also had Vascular dementia.) But every one is different and the type of dementia can make a difference.
Why do you ask? Do you think she may forget to be paranoid?
If your Aunt is living alone, and she has no PoA or made no plans or provisions for her care in these circumstances, then you must contact APS for her county to report her as a vulnerable adult. The county will eventually acquire guardianship of her (timeline for this varies by state and county). They will place her in a facility where she will be protected, and receive care and any medical attention she needs.
In the interim, you may be willing to step in to help her as social services works her case.
Things to remember when interacting with people who have dementia:
1) Agree, do not argue
2) Divert, do not attempt to reason
3) Distract, do not shame
4) Reassure, do not lecture
5) Reminisce, do not ask “Do you remember…?”
6) Repeat, do not say “I told you”
7) Do what they can do, don’t say “you can’t”
8) Ask, do not demand
9) Encourage, do not condescend
10) Reinforce, never force
The overall goals should be to:
1) keep them as calm and peaceful as possible (because they are less and less able to bring themselves to this mental state on their own)
2) keep them physically protected in their environment and from predatory people
3) keep them nourished with healthy foods that they will accept without fighting or forcing
4) keep them in as good a health condition as is possible, that their financial resources will allow and within their desires as expressed in a Living Will (aka Advance Healthcare Directive if they have created one)
5) keep them pain-free as possible and within their desires as expressed in a Living Will (aka Advance Healthcare Directive if they have created one)
She needs help with the ADL's or Activities of Daily Living.
She may be afraid to shower or she may not remember all the steps that need to be done to take a shower.
Many times medications can be crushed and stirred into foods like pudding, ice cream, cereals like oatmeal, cream of rice or cream of wheat.
Are there things she likes to do?
Take her for a walk around the block.
Take her to the Senior Center and see if she would get involved with games.
Look for an Adult Day Care program in the area. They typically will pick up and drop off and provide a breakfast, lunch, snack and activities. She gets to socialize with people.
There are medications that can be given for the anxiety that she may be experiencing.
You do not give any information in your profile about your aunt
If you are asking how long a person can survive after the diagnosis my Husband died about 12 years after his dementia diagnosis. (Diagnosed with Alzheimer's but I think he also had Vascular dementia.) But every one is different and the type of dementia can make a difference.