After emotionally abusing my mother until they minute she died, and the family for decades, he is now in care due to storm damage at his house. Up until this time he was living alone and it was getting harder and harder looking after him. I thought he would resent going into care for respite while repairs were being carried out at his home - but in fact the opposite happened. He immediately realised the endless opportunity for narcistic supply that was available in carers, other residents and staff. He decided within a few hours that this was his new home, and left all memories of his old life behind.
It took hours before he started bullying, targetting, and emotionally abusing the most vulnerable of residents and the most helpful sensitive care staff. Even one of the residents died after he emotionally abused them, and I couldn't help but think he had contributed her to death. All of this is done in secret and he is the classic charming narcissist keeping his abuse hidden and carefully executed so that noone would ever believe it.
His narcissism and rage at home and his abuse of my mother was always our dirty little secret.
I notice more and more noone wants to go anywhere near him in the facility. Everyone keeps their distance.
I have started to withdraw from his abuse and take care of myself in recent years. Any tips on further self care or other similiar stories of elderly seniors with malignant narcisistic traits in facility care would be very helpful to know.