Follow
Share

I take care of my 99 yr young mother...I am 78 & she has lived with me the last 8 yrs. She has some dementia (can't remember much at all & does some weird things now) & it's progressing but she pretty healthy....only take meds for heart rhythm & cholesterol. She uses a walker but I have her in a wheelchair when we go somewhere...which we don't go much except to dr. appts.....it's hard to get her wheelchair in & out of the van. Anyhow....she sleeps so much anymore....she would sleep 15 hrs a night if I didn't wake her....& after getting up she will be taking naps off & on all day unless I'm sitting next to her talking to her. She used to play computer Solitaire but she can no longer play games because of her memory & doesn't like puzzles, etc. She's blind in one eye so she doesn't see well either & has a hearing problem. She has no interests in anything at all now. Doesn't know what to talk about to anyone & doesn't want to go anywhere cause it wears her out. My problem is I can't just sit all day & watch TV & talk to her as I have all the house work, etc. to do also. I am going to talk to the dr. & ask if it's unhealthy for her to sleep so much but in the mean time I wanted to ask this group what you think & if the person you give care too sleeps a lot too. I'm an only child & we've been so close all our lives so I choose to take care of her as long as I can as I love her very much. It's just mother, our lil' poodle & me & this dementia is such a heartbreaking disease .....thanks in advance.

Find Care & Housing
love the answer joy thats y u r so beautiful u always get your beauty sleep....u2 sound like there has always been a great connection
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to crazykimbo
Report

think its great think its natural peaceful ..way better than a lot of other scenarios..e.g not in pain , both still care about each other etc
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to crazykimbo
Report

Joyzan, it's lovely to think of your mother enjoying your son-in-law's guitar playing :)

Are there family members who are able to visit you reasonably often? I'd be much happier to know that you do have people around you ready to offer practical and emotional support.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Countrymouse
Report

Music is usually a welcome diversion pretty much right up til the end, I developed an appreciation for old time country tunes from playing them for my mom. Those nature sounds with music in the background were nice too.
As for the sleeping, I always hoped my mother's dreams were pleasant since she spent much more time asleep than awake. I do have one caution though, if she doesn't keep at least a little bit active she may lose the strength necessary to walk, and that will make caring for her very much more difficult.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to cwillie
Report
joyzan Jul 1, 2019
I agree....& I do help her to walk around abit to keep her legs walking....she can't walk too much but every little bit helps. My son-in-law plays in a band & when we're able to go to their home for a visit....he'll sing & play the guitar & she loves it. Thank you for your comment...I appreciate it.
(0)
Report
You can discuss it with her doctor, but, if she was comfortable, not in pain and content, I'd be glad to support her in her activities or lack thereof. At age 99 it sounds like she's doing okay living with you and that she doesn't have any pressing medical issues. Maybe, as others have said, you could get someone to help so, you can get some time for yourself. Caregiving can be very exhausting, even if the person is housebound.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Sunnygirl1
Report
joyzan Jul 1, 2019
Thank you for your comment. She is pretty healthy but of course I worry & wonder if I'm doing things right for her and she is happy...sometimes she thanks me for taking such good care of her.....so hopefully her sleeping alot isn't harmful....I always tell her "That's why your so beautiful.....because you always get your beauty sleep". And she really is a beautiful woman. Thanks again.
(0)
Report
Joyzan, what I'd suggest is that you think about bringing in some support now, partly to help with keeping your mother company and taking care of her, but also purely so that you don't feel so alone with what's happening.

I know it's the oversleeping issue that is worrying you and I agree it's a very good idea to speak to your doctor about it and get advice. But it's hard to see how anything could be more important to your mother, at 99, than letting her please herself and be comfortable. Getting her up and encouraging her to be as active as is reasonable is undoubtedly good for her, but so is a nice doze in her chair! Try not to drive her or yourself too hard.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Countrymouse
Report
joyzan Jun 30, 2019
Thank you for your answer. Yes, I will have to get some help later on down the line I'm sure. Just don't want to yet if I can do it myself...so far so good.

I do let her sleep most of the time....I was thinking sleep was restful for her as she always took lots of naps when she was younger....she really seemed to need them as long as I can remember. I try to talk to her mostly from about 8 pm to 10 pm so she will want to go to bed. If I don't when it's 10 pm she wants to stay up & watch TV longer & of course I'm wanting to go to bed. I have ordered ear buds for her TV in her bedroom so now she'll be able watch TV in bed so hopefully that will solve that problem. Caring for someone is a new learning lesson every day I think....& we all want to do the best for that someone...especially for me when it's my mother. Thankfully we still have some good times...she's still witty sometimes & we have some good laughs.......Thank you for your help. I appreciate it.
(0)
Report

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter