My 99 yr old mother who lives with us goes from thinking she's in Alaska (we live in California) to being confused, then back to normal why?

Good Grief--

She's 99 and you wonder why she isn't peachy sweet all the time? Shoot, I am only 64 and I have my days!

A very mild sedative as needed may help.

I think 30 years of care should net you some kind of award. Gosh, I can't spend an afternoon with my mom without getting a migraine.

Actually--thinking of a 99 yo woman flipping people off kind of makes me chuckle. She's probably just lost ALL sense of filter as to 'correct behavior'. My MIL is now dropping the 'F bomb' in her angry conversations and it's sad, but sort of hilarious.

I guess, sadly, we have to try to find some humor in their behavior.

Thirty years should be enough. Time to consider placement and try to have somewhat of a life for yourself. IMHO.

She can't help it you know? You talk like she does it on purpose. She doesn't . Her brain is broken, and it will only continue to get worse. If it's just getting to be too much for you, then perhaps it's time to be looking into placing her in a MC facility, where she will receive the 24/7 care she needs and you can get a break and get on with living your life. It will be a win win for you both. Best wishes.

"It's crazy".
Yep, that's dementia.

It's hard, really hard on caregivers. Having a team to share the care is best, so you all get timeout.

What is your understanding of her diagnosis of advanced dementia?

I think she clearly needs medication to begin with. If you can hopefully stabilize her somewhat maybe you can proceed with more level thinking that would benefit you if her extreme behavior lessens. I realize she is 99. I am not suggesting drugging her into oblivion. I just think she might benefit from some mood stabilization. I could be wrong but it may be past the point of trying any dementia specific related drugs. I just think you need some relief in order to try to think clearly if possible.