My 97-year-old father has lost his ability to communicate. Now what?

Not being able to speak - then regaining speech. My guess (uneducated but life experience) is stroke.

Met many stroke survivors with aphasia (usually left side of brain stroke). Sadly, sometimes it is their new normal, but sometimes speech is recovered.

A friend's Mother suffered this type of stroke. Later after recovering speech she described hearing a phone ring. She had no words to describe what it was. Could not talk or ask for anything. After some days, a phone rung somewhere & she exlaimed "Hello!" Then speech slowly returned.

I wouldn't be surprised at age 97 that some small TIA's (mini strokes) are happening. Things are wearing out 🙁

Kind thoughts to you & your Father.

Years ago my sister was a speech therapist and used communication boards. They might still exist. A person points to feelings pictures among others. Perhaps these days one uses an iPad.

Can't talk is different that prefers not to talk. Please take him to the doctor NOW to make sure he hasn't suffered a stroke,

TriedandTrue: Perhaps it is time for hospice for your father.

Simply in a few words, love your father, as he is. As long as he is safe, honor, respect his preferences such as choices of what and when to eat etc. etc. The greatest gift you can give him now is simply your presence.... a smile, hold his hand ( if he will allow, if not, don't be insulted), look him in the eye and tell him kind loving things....he will " understand ' regardless of ' hearing'.
His dignity and sense of self , independence is challenged more now. Do all that you can to simply " be present", love and honor him and encourage others to also.
Maybe consider taking some photos from past ( like from his childhood forward) to look at together....he might engage and actually enjoy this type of " life review". If he loses interest, accept it and , revisit it again the next time you see him.

Don't beat yourself up ....
Take care of yourself...
Love yourself and your Dad....

God Bless your Dad at age 97. This is the late and final phase of his lifespan. His doctor should evaluate his conditions. I'd say hospice level.

It sounds like he is just losing his ability to speak because he can’t remember how to form the words in his mind. This happens with dementia and as people live very advanced years. Their brain cells diminish. Too, you said that your Dad was never a big communicator. Have him checked out by a doctor to rule out UTI, infections, cancer, etc. Also, look for signs of physical body pain. Dementia patients will often feel pain all over. Encourage eating and drinking but don’t force it on him. Towards the end of life, people stop eating and drinking as much. My Dad, Step-Father, MIL, and lady/friend I took care of all went through this one to two months before going to heaven. I lost them all this year. Hold your Dads hand, tell him that you care and that you will always be there for him, and repeat it each time you see him. Bring pictures from the past for him to look at. Talk about times that were enjoyable and that meant a lot to you and him. Just allow him to listen without expecting him to try and talk. I would guess he doesn’t remember anything from the day before, but he possibly does have some long term memories. Look for expressions in his eyes and on his face. It’s hard to watch our loved ones fade no matter how narcissistic
or stubborn they are. Sending prayers as you and your Dad go through this transition. It’s not easy.

I am glad your Dad can speak again - good news

In reseraching, I found:

Why Do I Suddenly Have Trouble Speaking?

"Extreme fatigue, anxiety or stress can cause speech problems. Also, painful migraines can partially incapacitate you, cause dizziness, numbness, or confusion, and restrict your ability to talk. . . . . However, there are more serious health conditions that cause speech disorders. People who have had a stroke often have slurred speech or are unable to talk at all. Multiple sclerosis and brain cancer are further possible causes of communication problems."

There may be psychological reasons or these as stated above. i.e.,I prsume if the stress lessens, the speech may come back. I do not have personal experience in this area. If it were me, I would focus on gentle touch (hand massage), if accepted, shoulder, neck massage. In other words, focus on the non-verbal.

AND

Why do elderly lose their speech?

Normal aging causes many changes to occur that can affect speech. As we age, our muscles become weaker, and this includes muscles in the throat and jaw. Along with this, there can be glandular and tissue changes. All of these factors combined can change our speech processes as we age.

AND

Understand the cause. Rarely do individuals stop talking for no reason. If your elderly relative loses the ability to speak, your first objective is likely to be to determine why. One or more of the following may be the culprit:

Brain injury.
Stroke.
Alzheimer’s disease.
Parkinson’s disease
Infection.
Dehydration.
Dementia

If your loved one’s communication impairment comes from a treatable condition, you may be able to restore his or her speech by pursuing the correct diagnosis and treatment. You should watch for signs of nursing home abuseand neglect, however, as his or her sudden and unexplainable silence may be due to mistreatment. Try other communication techniques

Once you rule out both treatable conditions and nursing home abuse, you must look for other ways to communicate. Hopefully, your loved one has not lost his or her ability to hear. If he or she has not, you may be able to communicate verbally.
Touch therapy can also be extremely useful. With this approach, you tell your loved one you are going to touch his or her arms, shoulders, back or legs. Then, you look for signs of receptiveness to your touching. These may include changes in breathing, facial expressions or movements.

Listening to music with your loved one and reading books to him or her also help you to maintain verbal contact. Ultimately, though, anything you do to connect with your elderly relative is apt to make a difference.

I hope some of this helps.

Gena / Touch Matters

Let go!

Please make a doctor's appointment to evaluate his overall health and make an appointment with a Geriatric Psychiatrist who can evaluate, educate and medicate. Is Dad playing mind games with you to elevate the "tug-o-war" or, is he in such decline that the end is very close and he wants to be left alone at this point?

Either way, he's doing it "his way."

#1 If this is a recent change, he msy very well have an infection. My Mom lost her commuunication skills whenever she had an infection. Apple cider vinegar takes care of a UTI, if you can put a quarter cup in some very sweet juice or berry fruit flavored protein drink.

If that cannot take place, or does not fix it he may need an exam for other reasons.

Try to replace the batteries without him knowing. Or hey, I have some extra batteries, showing them. I am happy to update your hearing aids. Or say they are updating everyone's hearing aid batteries. Isn't that great? And replace his. Usually they just fon't want to be a trouble.

If this communication is now a permanent thing until he passes through, like because of a serious ibfection that is not curable, you will have to read subtle body cues. Like if he may be cold, for instance, or in pain. Plus using what you know about him, line certain aches, or is he normally cold. Talk with him pleasantly and gently. Wait for answers, if there are any at all. Communicate closer to him. Give him soft things to hold, read to him. Whatever he may have enjoyed when he could communicate. God bless!!

My husband who is 84 years old lost his ability to talk 2 years ago. It’s very frustrating for a caregiver. We’ve had to watch his facial expression’s and his hand jesters, there basic but he use them constantly. So we have some way of communicating. For Example hand on head he had headache, pats his lap when he has to pee (if I ask do you have to go bathroom he doesn’t understand) so I have to ask do you need to pee. It takes time and patience but you probably can figure out basic needs. We also found if we talk about memories we both experienced together he seem more alert and once in awhile a word or two comes out. One of the best advice we have received has been to talk with a speech therapist we have learned so much from them. Hang in there you are a blessing to your dad.

My dad quitted using his hearing aid when he was 100y. He felt more comfortable without it (no noise magnification anymore and less desire to communicate with others directly). But he was still using "chat" online to talk with his friend, then quitted when he was 102y. We didn't know what was the right thing to do exactly: insisting him doing something he no longer enjoyed doing it or not.

Try to change the batteries in his hearing aids when he is not in the room or is sleeping. People go through changes and declines as they get older. You have to expect this. Not everything can be fixed. My mother (with dementia) eventually stopped wearing her glasses. She didn't like anything touching her face. She also became non-verbal as the dementia advanced. I got her a radio, and she enjoyed hearing music in her room. If your father still has some hearing, he might enjoy a simple radio with knobs. Set it to a channel he likes and hopefully he can turn it on, or the staff might do it for him. Try to channel your love and your care for your father, forgive him for what he didn't give you that you needed as a child, and please stop criticizing him. He may not be able to do better. People with dementia (and memory loss) cannot learn new things. It may be time to talk to his doctor about hospice for your father. Learn to give yourself all of the love that you didn't get as a child so that you can forgive and move on. Learn to be patient and understanding with your father in his declining years - have empathy for him. Old age, decline and death are a human condition, it's best to accept them, do our best to make the person comfortable, and be positive and loving when you are with him. All the best to you both.

It's time for a hospice evaluation for your father, stat. If you get no response from his doctor, have him ambulanced to the ER for a medical work up, then they can recommend a hospice evaluation there if they find nothing urgently wrong with him.

Best of luck and I'm sorry you're both going through such a difficult situation.

I think its just part of the progression of Dementia. The man is 97. His body is giving out. I wouldn't ask for a speech consult. I may get Hospice involved even just to be evaluated. They can tell you if he is transitioning. If not speaking doesn't bother him, I would not worry about it. There are communication boards you could use with him.

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=communication+boards&gclid=Cj0KCQiAsoycBhC6ARIsAPPbeLtxBrXzQJb-uQibDB_gp0Nwwr179J7HMs1pOy0UgRYFRF-jua9MX0IaAtd3EALw_wcB&hvadid=616931158927&hvdev=t&hvlocphy=9003829&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=6257480269077606079&hvtargid=kwd-54137907&hydadcr=24634_13611738&tag=googhydr-20&ref=pd_sl_2qxy0ckjpf_e

My Husband was non verbal about the last 7 years of his life. Maybe a word here or there but never a conversation, rarely putting 2 words together.
My suspicion is that the damage done to his brain from both the Alzheimer's and suspected Vascular dementia effected his communication.
He was never much of a talker anyway. As the dementia progressed he talked less and less. I figured at first it was because he did not want to talk fearing that he would make a mistake or that people would think there was something "wrong"
Whatever the cause/reason I learned to deal with it.
I learned to anticipate what he would want. He was easy going and because of the dementia I eliminated choices when it cam to what he would want for a meal he would just eat what I made. Then again he always did that anyway.
He still liked to hold hands, he still watched the ball games. He did make noises. The noise would increase in volume the more excited he got or if I was on the phone he sometimes got louder either he wanted to participate or he wanted my attention.
Caregivers always commented that he knew when I got home because as soon as he heard the garage door open his noise level would increase.
You have to be a bit more intuitive and pay more attention...he will communicate in his own way. You just have to learn his language.

By refusing to put batteries in his hearing aids, he could be telling you he doesn't want to communicate anymore. (Or he may not remember how to install the batteries.) Without sound input, his brain isn't functioning as it should. This leads to progression of dementia. You could get a hearing consult, but he might not cooperate. There are hearing aids that don't require batteries, they recharge on a device, but if he doesn't want to hear, he won't use them. Medication for depression might help, if you want to try that. But it looks like hospice might be a good idea at this point. He's 97, so I don't think I'd go to heroic measures. I'd keep things as peaceful as possible for him and let nature take its course. I'm so sorry this is happening to him and to you.

I would ask his doctor for a referral for a speech/language pathologist to rule out various issues.

In the absence of anything treatable, I would consider having a consult with hospice.