She never knows this happens, but I see it. I realized if she would just get her pants below the toilet first then pull down her pull up, that it doesn't happen. She just won't listen to me she's very stubborn. She says she does this, but then I see that her pants are wet. I have an idea of attaching some kind of disposable bib type thing to the back of her pants to catch that pee, then pull it off after? Any ideas? She's still fairly independent and goes to the bathroom by herself, unless she's having constipation and difficulty with bowel movements. I also insist that she cleans better after bowel movements because she doesn't do as good a job cleaning as I think she should. She doesn't like getting ideas from me, her daughter, even though my ideas do seem to solve some problems. I guess it's a pride thing!? Thanks!
You can buy them online or maybe at a pharmacy if they carry DME's. Just that little added height made such a difference in comfort.
As far as cleaning herself properly after a BM, unless YOU do it FOR her, it ain't happening, sorry. Her idea of 'good enough' and your idea of 'good enough' are two entirely different opinions.
You can buy a bidet attachment for the toilet if you think she's amenable to using it. That's a quick & efficient way to really clean herself after a BM, but again, she'd have to be willing to actually USE it. Mention it and see what she says. They're pretty reasonably priced on Amazon.
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=bidet+attachment+for+toilet+warm+water&crid=2NMCD4RS4BXCU&sprefix=bidet+attachm%2Caps%2C170&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_4_13
At 97, most people need help with toileting. My mother fought off wearing Depends until one day, on the elevator going up to her apartment in the AL where she lived, she let loose and peed FULLY on the rug! She about had a cow and I was just standing there thinking, "Oh dear God, I knew this was going to happen!" I tried to keep her calm and ushered her out of the elevator (thank God we were alone in there) and helped her get cleaned up in her bathroom. Right then & there she agreed to wearing pull up Depends, and that was the end of that subject once and for all!
I'm sure it's a pride thing with your mom b/c really, who wants 'help' cleaning their bums after taking a poop? :) Make light of it as best you can. But tell her that you can't have her sitting on the upholstered furniture in the house after she's wet herself, even a little, without a disposable chuck pad being put down on it first. Unless she's willing to wear a pull up or a Poise pad, then you'll have to lay down chuck's everywhere in the house. See what she thinks about that! Everything in life requires compromise; you compromised your entire LIFE to come take care of her. What is SHE going to compromise for YOU?
Best of luck!
Good luck getting her to clean herself better. My mom has a lot of pain and mobility issues so I doubt she's doing a good job either. When she's been to the doc for incontinence issues, they've never said anything so I guess that means it's better than I would have guessed.