Sounds like perhaps the onset of some sort of dementia, as like 97yroldmom said, an unsteady gait is often one of the first signs of dementia, as it was with my husband who was later diagnosed with vascular dementia. You may want to have her evaluated by her neurologist. In your profile you say that your mother lives in Independent Living, but it may now be time to place her in an Assisted Living facility, as it sounds like she's requiring more care. You also say how mean she is, and that she won't let you get her groceries. I would just now tell her that from now on you will be ordering her groceries online(which she can help you pick out online)as it's just getting to be too much for you and her, and if she doesn't like it---oh well, then I guess she just won't eat. You're probably going to have to put your foot down on this, since it's affecting you in a negative way. Instead if she wants to occasionally get out and about, you can offer to take her for a "Sunday" drive every now and again, just so she can get a change of scenery. Best wishes.
Dementia can affect the gait. That was my DH aunts primary symptom for years, an unsteady gait. She used a cane for a long time, then a walker and now a rollator but barely. Mostly she is bed bound now. Has your mom seen a neurologist?
Ask her primary doctor to order her a home health evaluation and physical therapy. Does your mom set up her own pill planner? The nurse will do that for her, check her vitals weekly and they can provide a CNA to help her with her bath. Medicare will provide home health for the homebound. She sounds like she would qualify if she has original Medicare. If she wants to remain living “independently”. it’s an assist to keep an eye on her health and a start in getting her accustomed to having help outside of yourself. DH aunt had HH for years and now she is on hospice with them. Without them, she would have been in a facility long ago. A facility might be what she and you would prefer. What are her plans for her “old age”? 🤫
I hate to say limit her activities, especially if going to the grocery is her only activity out of the house. With COVID I would think her spending excessive time in a grocery store is not a good idea for her or you. You sound very tired of dealing with the situation. I’m sorry. Is there anyone who can help you? Do you have siblings who might take a turn taking her to the grocery? My mom was not a shopper and neither am I but others have written on the forum of how annoying it could be to take an elder to the grocery. I would not have the patience. You are not alone. Big hugs.
In your profile you say that your mother lives in Independent Living, but it may now be time to place her in an Assisted Living facility, as it sounds like she's requiring more care. You also say how mean she is, and that she won't let you get her groceries. I would just now tell her that from now on you will be ordering her groceries online(which she can help you pick out online)as it's just getting to be too much for you and her, and if she doesn't like it---oh well, then I guess she just won't eat. You're probably going to have to put your foot down on this, since it's affecting you in a negative way.
Instead if she wants to occasionally get out and about, you can offer to take her for a "Sunday" drive every now and again, just so she can get a change of scenery. Best wishes.
Ask her primary doctor to order her a home health evaluation and physical therapy. Does your mom set up her own pill planner? The nurse will do that for her, check her vitals weekly and they can provide a CNA to help her with her bath. Medicare will provide home health for the homebound. She sounds like she would qualify if she has original Medicare. If she wants to remain living “independently”. it’s an assist to keep an eye on her health and a start in getting her accustomed to having help outside of yourself. DH aunt had HH for years and now she is on hospice with them. Without them, she would have been in a facility long ago. A facility might be what she and you would prefer. What are her plans for her “old age”? 🤫
I hate to say limit her activities, especially if going to the grocery is her only activity out of the house. With COVID I would think her spending excessive time in a grocery store is not a good idea for her or you. You sound very tired of dealing with the situation. I’m sorry. Is there anyone who can help you? Do you have siblings who might take a turn taking her to the grocery? My mom was not a shopper and neither am I but others have written on the forum of how annoying it could be to take an elder to the grocery. I would not have the patience. You are not alone. Big hugs.
Your profile say Mom is in Independent Living. If so, she needs to live independently, not have you doing everything for her.
If she requires as much as assistance as you claim IL is inadequate for her needs. She needs to be in AL.