It is all relative and subjective. There is no "normal".
I'm currently visiting my 104-year old Aunt who still lives in her own home with the help of 2 family caregivers. She gets herself up every morning at 6:30am, makes her own breakfast, feeds the cat, reads the paper, does laundry, chats and plays Rummy Q with her companion aid, naps after lunch, does whatever in the afternoon, makes herself a simple dinner, plays cards with my other cousin until 9pm, then watches the news or shows until 11pm. Wakes up the next day and does it all over again.
Her sister, my 94-yr old Mom is similar. But that's just them. I think this is not "typical" for people their ages.
As long as your Mom isn't suffering or in danger I wouldn't worry about her routine. Let her do whatever she wants.
Turn it around to a positive !! My 96 year old mother IS still ABLE to get up from bed and eat when she is not having her well deserved naps . 😊
But seriously…..sleeping a lot can be normal at this age . However you haven’t given any medical background , or if this is sudden along with other new changes, or if she has seen a doctor recently to see if there is anything Mom needs treated like a UTI , etc. , or if hospice is appropriate .
Normal for her is whatever she wants. There are many different things that can cause a person to stay in bed. 96 and tired of course can be at the top. She could be in pain, and not know how to identify it as pain, she could be depressed, have thyroid issues etc. The fact that she gets up to eat is good. You don’t give us any information. Except she is 96 and wants to sleep. Does she use a walker, still continent, talk on the phone, have a good appetite? What are her comorbidities? Is she asleep or just lying in bed. My mom went to bed early and was up early but she said she didn’t sleep much of the time, just needed to get her feet up (CHF). Personally I would ask for routine blood work, a therapist to evaluate her to make sure she isn’t in pain and perhaps work with her a bit. Maybe try an antidepressant. Has she lost weight? It doesn’t take long for a person to loose their strength when staying in bed and then you and she are dealing with her being bed bound. Okay if she is ready to do that. But sometimes the mood can lift and she would like to be able to get up but find she has lost the ability. Also, if you have nice weather and she is able, take her for a ride and get her an ice cream. See if her mood lifts. Ask a favorite relative to come by or give her a call. I’m saying these things which may be totally beyond her ability, don’t know. If the tv is on all day and is negative she may be trying to escape the noise. So many things can be at play. Look for a home health agency instead of hospice so she can get evaluated for therapy. I have seen a little therapy really make a difference. My mom had it until she passed. All of this is not to try to keep her from passing if it is her time but to keep her feeling well while she is alive. My DH aunt is 97 and bedfast for at least two years. Just a few weeks ago she decided she would get up, change from her pjs and go to the lounge with other elderly. Of course that all has to be done for her but at least she has been willing. Might stop next week. I notice they are all asleep in their chairs but she’s doing what she wants. She is also eating in the dining room daily. Prior to this had only done half a dozen times. She’s been on hospice for years and has dementia. Your mom is certainly of an age to call it done and that seems logical but old people can also have treatable conditions that make a difference in how they feel and spend their last days.
You give no info at all about your mothers health conditions? At 96, even if she has no significant health issues, she's probably just tired. Call her PCP for a hospice referral.
I can only guess that at the age of 96 that your mother is just plain tired and ready for this life to be over. If she's sleeping 20 hours or more perhaps it's time to bring hospice on board, as sleeping that much can be sure sign that the end of her life is near.
My father was the same and at about that age. I asked him. He told me. And as a nurse many patients told me that they were done, over it, longing for what my Dad called the last long nap. He so loved his naps! It's difficult for us to understand, but people do honestly become exhausted with life, even with very GOOD lives. They long to go and are ready to go. At 81 I feel the approach.
I had so many patients tell me that their families would not "hear it" when they tried to say they longed to go, and were exhausted with life. My poor dad tried for so long for my Mom.
If your Mom doesn't have dementia, speak with her. Tell her you notice she is sleeping more and more and that it concerns you. Ask her if she does it because she is simply tired, or if there is anything you can do to help her be more awake and with you more of the time. And LISTEN to her. And don't negate what she says. If she tells you she is ready tell her that you will never be ready to lose her, but that you can understand, and that she will ALWAYS be carried with you.
It is normal to sleep much more more with simple aging as well as with dementias. And to eat much less. Amazing how little food can sustain the human body.
Honestly, just sleeping write not at age 63 sounds attractive.
I'm currently visiting my 104-year old Aunt who still lives in her own home with the help of 2 family caregivers. She gets herself up every morning at 6:30am, makes her own breakfast, feeds the cat, reads the paper, does laundry, chats and plays Rummy Q with her companion aid, naps after lunch, does whatever in the afternoon, makes herself a simple dinner, plays cards with my other cousin until 9pm, then watches the news or shows until 11pm. Wakes up the next day and does it all over again.
Her sister, my 94-yr old Mom is similar. But that's just them. I think this is not "typical" for people their ages.
As long as your Mom isn't suffering or in danger I wouldn't worry about her routine. Let her do whatever she wants.
But seriously…..sleeping a lot can be normal at this age . However you haven’t given any medical background , or if this is sudden along with other new changes, or if she has seen a doctor recently to see if there is anything Mom needs treated like a UTI , etc. , or if hospice is appropriate .
There are many different things that can cause a person to stay in bed. 96 and tired of course can be at the top. She could be in pain, and not know how to identify it as pain, she could be depressed, have thyroid issues etc. The fact that she gets up to eat is good. You don’t give us any information. Except she is 96 and wants to sleep. Does she use a walker, still continent, talk on the phone, have a good appetite? What are her comorbidities? Is she asleep or just lying in bed. My mom went to bed early and was up early but she said she didn’t sleep much of the time, just needed to get her feet up (CHF).
Personally I would ask for routine blood work, a therapist to evaluate her to make sure she isn’t in pain and perhaps work with her a bit. Maybe try an antidepressant. Has she lost weight? It doesn’t take long for a person to loose their strength when staying in bed and then you and she are dealing with her being bed bound. Okay if she is ready to do that. But sometimes the mood can lift and she would like to be able to get up but find she has lost the ability. Also, if you have nice weather and she is able, take her for a ride and get her an ice cream. See if her mood lifts. Ask a favorite relative to come by or give her a call. I’m saying these things which may be totally beyond her ability, don’t know. If the tv is on all day and is negative she may be trying to escape the noise. So many things can be at play.
Look for a home health agency instead of hospice so she can get evaluated for therapy. I have seen a little therapy really make a difference. My mom had it until she passed.
All of this is not to try to keep her from passing if it is her time but to keep her feeling well while she is alive.
My DH aunt is 97 and bedfast for at least two years. Just a few weeks ago she decided she would get up, change from her pjs and go to the lounge with other elderly. Of course that all has to be done for her but at least she has been willing. Might stop next week. I notice they are all asleep in their chairs but she’s doing what she wants. She is also eating in the dining room daily. Prior to this had only done half a dozen times. She’s been on hospice for years and has dementia.
Your mom is certainly of an age to call it done and that seems logical but old people can also have treatable conditions that make a difference in how they feel and spend their last days.
If she's sleeping 20 hours or more perhaps it's time to bring hospice on board, as sleeping that much can be sure sign that the end of her life is near.
I asked him.
He told me.
And as a nurse many patients told me that they were done, over it, longing for what my Dad called the last long nap. He so loved his naps! It's difficult for us to understand, but people do honestly become exhausted with life, even with very GOOD lives. They long to go and are ready to go. At 81 I feel the approach.
I had so many patients tell me that their families would not "hear it" when they tried to say they longed to go, and were exhausted with life. My poor dad tried for so long for my Mom.
If your Mom doesn't have dementia, speak with her. Tell her you notice she is sleeping more and more and that it concerns you. Ask her if she does it because she is simply tired, or if there is anything you can do to help her be more awake and with you more of the time. And LISTEN to her. And don't negate what she says. If she tells you she is ready tell her that you will never be ready to lose her, but that you can understand, and that she will ALWAYS be carried with you.
It is normal to sleep much more more with simple aging as well as with dementias. And to eat much less. Amazing how little food can sustain the human body.