and is in a wheel chair. Here is the thing I am going to have to have a shoulder replacement and I can not get any of my siblings come to help me with my mom, none of them have a house that can accommodate her wheel chair. I am at my wits end.
Can I suggest that you look into a care service like Visiting Angels? You can request help for a limited amount of time and your Angel can help both you and your mom in your own home. This will be much less effort and not disrupt your mom's routine.
The cost of a "basic" non-medical companion is approx. $22 p/hr per person (and may vary by state or franchise). This person can do light housekeeping, transfers, run errands, cook meals, entertain, etc. If you need an overnight person, that may be a higher p/hr cost. If you need someone with more medical training it will be more p/hr as they require different qualifications.
My two 90+ yr old aunties in FL absolutely love this service. I would call a franchise near you (or a similar service) and get an idea of overall cost for the duration of what care you need. Then take this info to your siblings to see if they + your mom's financial means can cover it. Hope they are willing to help!
Mom will have to go into care facility during the time of your surgery. So sorry you are facing this down, and wish you luck with the surgery. I cannot think of another conceivable way. I hope Mom has funds to pay for respite while you have this surgery. If there is a good deal of care needed with lifting and etc you are going to be out of commission for some time.
dmvinson, I agree with Isthisrelyreal about seeing if your Mom can go into respite care at an Assisted Living facility if it is within her budget. She will either love it, being around people of her own generation, or she will hate every minute.
I remember back when I broke my upper arm. Oh good grief, what an ordeal just for me alone. I couldn't lift anything.... I could only write with my other hand and the writing looked like that of a 3 year old.... getting dress was a major project... forget about putting on makeup.... and eating, what a mess.
Then after my arm healed, I needed physical therapy 3 times a week for several months as my arm had frozen up. Heck, I couldn't even drive. And all my parents could say "who is going to drive us?".... [rolling eyes].
If only my parents were living in senior facility [Independent Living] instead of being in a large house by themselves with a lot of stairs, both were fall risks being in their 90's. This was added stress I wouldn't wish on anyone.
Find an Assisted living facility that offers respite care.
It may be difficult for her or it may be a lovely holiday, but you need to take care of you and your shoulder, so you must put her somewhere that she will be safe and cared for, so you have no worries about her while you focus completely on your recovery.
Best wishes for a successful surgery and a quick recovery.
The cost of a "basic" non-medical companion is approx. $22 p/hr per person (and may vary by state or franchise). This person can do light housekeeping, transfers, run errands, cook meals, entertain, etc. If you need an overnight person, that may be a higher p/hr cost. If you need someone with more medical training it will be more p/hr as they require different qualifications.
My two 90+ yr old aunties in FL absolutely love this service. I would call a franchise near you (or a similar service) and get an idea of overall cost for the duration of what care you need. Then take this info to your siblings to see if they + your mom's financial means can cover it. Hope they are willing to help!
I remember back when I broke my upper arm. Oh good grief, what an ordeal just for me alone. I couldn't lift anything.... I could only write with my other hand and the writing looked like that of a 3 year old.... getting dress was a major project... forget about putting on makeup.... and eating, what a mess.
Then after my arm healed, I needed physical therapy 3 times a week for several months as my arm had frozen up. Heck, I couldn't even drive. And all my parents could say "who is going to drive us?".... [rolling eyes].
If only my parents were living in senior facility [Independent Living] instead of being in a large house by themselves with a lot of stairs, both were fall risks being in their 90's. This was added stress I wouldn't wish on anyone.
It may be difficult for her or it may be a lovely holiday, but you need to take care of you and your shoulder, so you must put her somewhere that she will be safe and cared for, so you have no worries about her while you focus completely on your recovery.
Best wishes for a successful surgery and a quick recovery.