My 95 year old mom needs part time care. She doesn't qualify for Medicaid. Does she qualify for any other help? - AgingCare.com

My 95 year old mom needs part time care. She doesn't qualify for Medicaid. Does she qualify for any other help?

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We need to find part time care for about 3 to 4 hours a day for my Mom. She's physically healthy but is starting to deteriorate fast. Her hearing is selective, she can no longer leave her apartment without help, she's depressed, won't attend family functions any longer, has fallen several times thank god with only minor injuries, she can't wash herself and seems to be in early stage dementia. Does she qualify for any help? She doesn't qualify for medicaid.

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You say your mom doesn't qualify for Medicaid. I believe you believe that. You said it twice but Just in case, How do you know? Please don't be taking anyone's word for it that isn't qualified to give you that advice. Have you seen an elder attorney? Your saying that she doesn't qualify and that her home is upside down on the mortgage but she lives in an apt and has deadbeat tenants? I'm imagining a boarding house?? Does she have other assets that prevent her getting aid or did she gift her assets away? Her home doesn't disqualify her. Don't make the decision she doesn't qualify without seeking legal advice from a qualified elder attorney who understands Medicaid laws for your state. A healthy 95 year old can live a long time and need care. I have a healthy 103 yr old great aunt. She lives at home and pays her own way but things happen that wind elders up in expensive NHs in the blink of an eye. If you haven't already, seek the help of an attorney. Your dads pension can be put in a trust to get her monthly income down to a qualifying income level. You need an attorney because your mom needs help. Find out her options. Call a meeting. Those that don't want her to move need to sign on for a shift of caring for mom while you are working this out. In some states, maybe all, I'm not sure, Medicaid will also provide care in the home. Do you or anyone else have POA?
Please check moms options out so she can get proper care.
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I have known several seniors with mortgages - it happens.

I have to tell you, it might not be "selective hearing" as I accused my DH of this and after having him tested, it turns out he has trouble with consonants. So many words sound alike and he gets confused. If you stand in front of a mirror and try to read your lips, you will see that many words look alike too.

Early stages of Dementia can improve with proper nutrition. This means vitamins and minerals. I am using Greens First supplements to help my 95 year old DH and he's doing well so far.

Have you checked for any Senior Day Care Centers in your area? Perhaps a local church is sponsoring one. I only recently heard of them and will check around her very soon as I have no one to spell me at all; but I am blessed with a sister who will do my shopping for me for anything I cannot purchase online.

Another option is to ask your church if they have any volunteers who will either help out or 'senior-sit' for you.
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Nancy, someone is going to have to step in and do what needs to be done. Your mother is 95 and in poor health. Having undependable tenants living at her house sounds like a recipe for disaster. You and your siblings need to talk about the situation. Often we have to get beyond our fear of upsetting Mother and realize that we have become the parents. You won't be able to make your mother do anything unless she is declared mentally incompetent. However, you can make sure she has access to things she needs, e.g. full-time care from somewhere. Some hospice organizations will not help a client at home if there is not a family member or caregiver.
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NancyML, if your Mom qualifies for Hospice, please note that Hospice aren't caregivers who come for several hours. A nurse will stop by to check your Mom's vitals once or twice a week, and then the nurse leaves. An Aide will stop by to do whatever she is assigned, a half hour to an hour couple times a week. Maybe a Volunteer will stop in every now and then to chat with your Mom or do whatever your Mom likes, but the Volunteer is not hands-on care.

When you said your Mom, who is 95, still has a mortgage, that caught me by surprised as that is unusual at her age. Did your parents refinance at one time in the past? What are the tenants doing? Are they relatives or folks who are renting a room? Do the tenants help out in any way or they are boarders who come and go as they please? If they are not paying their required rent, it is time for them to leave. Hopefully Mom has a Lease for the tenants.
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We feel that moving her will upset her too much. She has a mortgage on her home and two deadbeat tenants. She pays the mortgage from my Dad's pension. The house isn't worth anything especially in the area where she lives. The right thing to do is to get her out of that house but to convince family is a problem. My daughter just set up an appointment with Hospice to come out an evaluate her. Maybe they can find something to help her. Even if they can give us a couple of hours a week it better than nothing.
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NancyML, I agree with Jessie above... it sounds like your Mom need more care then a few hours a day.

I noticed from your profile that your Mom lives in her own home. May I ask if she owns or rent? If she owns, then it is time to sell, use the equity for some type of Assisted Living. Assisted Living, depending on where you live can be from $2k to $5k per month. The really hard part is the downsizing and Mother agreeing that it is a good idea. I know my Mom wanted no part of it.
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Hmm, it sounds like she needs more than help a few hours a day. Is she open to assisted living or does she want to remain in her home?
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Can she pay for an aide? The typical agency will cost about $16-$18 per hour.

There might be a local volunteer group....but they won't be every day, and they probably won't do more than be company and maybe cook.
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