Your dad sounds perfect to me. Like he is living his life as he chooses. You sound perfect for supporting him in such a loving way. I’m glad he is not on meds. I love the guitar story. If you have time you could wake him earlier and see if it seems to make a difference. Is he interested in sports or family history? It is very interesting to do a little genealogy and talk to him about his parents or grandparents. His school experiences, service etc. The census records for 1910, 1920, 1930 and 1940 are available. My mom wasn’t on meds at 90. A slow heart beat led to a pacemaker, CHF and meds. She had a tough last 2-3 years. She would have preferred your dad’s routine to her own.
Thanks so much for your kind support. My mom also had a difficult and painful final 2 years that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. So I will just continue. He enjoys talking about his past and growing up and I enjoy learning about it like I couldn’t before when I didn’t have the time. He can’t remember yesterday but he vividly remembers many things about his childhood and his young years with mom. Bless you and thanks again for your support.
Thanks for this suggestion. He does live by himself. When I do happen to sleep over, I notice that he is up several times at night to use the washroom and gets right back to 😴. Unlike myself who takes forever to fall asleep again. Thanks again for taking the time to reply.
Dad is 90, he goes to bed at 7 pm each night. Gets up at 6:00 am and basically has an hour of activity in the morning, punctuated by naps.
he is too tired in the afternoon to accomplish more than making his lunch and dinner. The afternoon is also punctuated by naps before he heads to bed shortly after dinner.
Dad does do his bed exercises every morning (post stroke 4 years) but has great difficulty walking any distance now. 5 months ago he was walking 5 blocks to the grocery store.
So, my point is not what time your Dad gets up, it is what can he do and what is his sleep total?
Good answer. If my father does what yours does, I would be happy. Long winter, so when go to his place to I wake him up we talk for a few hours then he watches tv when I go home for dinner at 7 every night. I make his breakfast at 3:30 and feed him dinner at 7pm.Thanks so much for replying ❤️
Is he awake at night or is he sleeping then too? The problem with sleeping too much is that they aren't moving enough, they likely aren't eating enough, they may not be taking their medications as prescribed, all of which will lead to frailty, which will lead to falls and a downward spiral. At 95 he may just be worn out and winding down - I wonder whether he should still be left on his own.
I should have mentioned that he is very stubborn and considers himself a hermit. I agree he is winding down for sure. He decided three years ago that he was done taking medications, including bp pills, blood thinners, etc. He does sleep all night also. Excellent point about necessity to wake up and eat. I am with him every day and he is highly intelligent so for now he is fine on his own.Thanks so much for your thoughtful response. I do appreciate it.
I’m not sure what “age appropriate” pain is. If he takes a Tylenol or other OTC does he stay awake more? I would hate to think he was sleeping because he is trying to avoid pain. Have you spoken with his care team about the pain? A round of physical therapy might make him feel better or help identify where the pain is. A good chiropractor or a massage could possibly help. There is a catch 22 with sleep. You can have too much or too little. Too much seems to make one groggy. If he has company is he able to wake up and visit or does he nod off? Is there a lot of confusion, children playing, loud tv etc in the home? Sometimes noise or too much activity can cause anxiety and a need to escape. Oh I see he lives alone. So it’s not that. Boredom? Give him a hug from me. I’ve lost all my old uncles and my dad who were in his age group. Happy Memorial Day!
Definitely boredom and loneliness. He takes no medicine, refused to go to a doctor and we do not have a care team. He will not take pain pills and even unplugs a heating pad when I put it on his back. (too much hydro) He sounds grumpy but he is the not at all. He never ever complains so who knows what his pain is. Everyone loves him and makes a big fuss over him ( almost embarrassingly so). Having said that, his friends have passed away and he seldom has visitors. I am there every day for a few hours. We talk and talk and talk. He would never do physio. But he started taking guitar lessons last Oct and that is one way I can get him out of the house once a week. He does like to walk (unassisted) and we walk around the block when weather is good. Thanks very much for your suggestions. He should get care but he would never let anyone bathe him or dress him because he can do it himself.
If you have time you could wake him earlier and see if it seems to make a difference.
Is he interested in sports or family history? It is very interesting to do a little genealogy and talk to him about his parents or grandparents. His school experiences, service etc. The census records for 1910, 1920, 1930 and 1940 are available.
My mom wasn’t on meds at 90. A slow heart beat led to a pacemaker, CHF and meds. She had a tough last 2-3 years. She would have preferred your dad’s routine to her own.
Thanks again for taking the time to reply.
he is too tired in the afternoon to accomplish more than making his lunch and dinner. The afternoon is also punctuated by naps before he heads to bed shortly after dinner.
Dad does do his bed exercises every morning (post stroke 4 years) but has great difficulty walking any distance now. 5 months ago he was walking 5 blocks to the grocery store.
So, my point is not what time your Dad gets up, it is what can he do and what is his sleep total?
He does sleep all night also. Excellent point about necessity to wake up and eat. I am with him every day and he is highly intelligent so for now he is fine on his own.Thanks so much for your thoughtful response. I do appreciate it.
A round of physical therapy might make him feel better or help identify where the pain is. A good chiropractor or a massage could possibly help.
There is a catch 22 with sleep. You can have too much or too little. Too much seems to make one groggy.
If he has company is he able to wake up and visit or does he nod off?
Is there a lot of confusion, children playing, loud tv etc in the home? Sometimes noise or too much activity can cause anxiety and a need to escape. Oh I see he lives alone. So it’s not that. Boredom?
Give him a hug from me. I’ve lost all my old uncles and my dad who were in his age group. Happy Memorial Day!
He sounds grumpy but he is the not at all. He never ever complains so who knows what his pain is. Everyone loves him and makes a big fuss over him ( almost embarrassingly so). Having said that, his friends have passed away and he seldom has visitors. I am there every day for a few hours. We talk and talk and talk. He would never do physio. But he started taking guitar lessons last Oct and that is one way I can get him out of the house once a week. He does like to walk (unassisted) and we walk around the block when weather is good. Thanks very much for your suggestions. He should get care but he would never let anyone bathe him or dress him because he can do it himself.