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Thank you for your input: Mother is now living with us. She needs help with EVERYTHING: dressing, eating, going to bathroom, showering, etc. She is legally blind (macular degeneration), on top of Lewy Body dementia. She does not, however, need Depends yet. TG for small favors.
She sleeps from 8 pm--with 50mg Seroquel and 10mg Ambien. She is usually awake to go to the bathroom by 3:30, then calls every hour until I get her up between 6 and 7 am. If there has been minimal "stress" the day before, sometimes she will sleep until 5 before she wakes up. This is heaven to me! She NEVER NAPS during the day!
I have daytime help from 10 am until 8 pm, but all day long, I get the message that she is "worried about me, when am I coming home", etc., so there is still no escape or rest from the pressure. I care for her alone every night from 8 pm until 10 am Monday thru Thursday, except Friday and Saturday night, when I get overnight help. I take care of her alone from Sunday morning until Monday at 10am. Sundays, our adult children come for dinner, and I am an exhausted witch from taking her every 15 minutes to the bathroom, or moving her to another chair, or covering her because she is cold, or getting her Tylenol because she has a headache, etc. I cannot get anything done, and the daytime caregiver has the same experience. She wants to help me with the housework, because she is nutty from SITTING NEXT TO MY MOTHER ALL DAY and just wants to do a few things. We have to tie her to a chair so WE can go to the bathroom. I think it is her perception of time, as she cannot be still for more than 3 minutes at a time. My poor husband just wants to watch football on Sunday and helps me with things( today it was putting up Christmas lights and getting the decorations out--which I have SO MUCH time to do this year!!! sorry.
I realize I must have it better than some here, as her late husband set up a trust for her and it pays for her care. I do have a lot of patience, but the last few weeks I have a bad shoulder and am in pain. Sometimes she shows appreciation and concern for "all I have to do", but mostly, it's "all about her".
I am really concerned about the Seroquel, but cannot get 3 doctors to take her off of it. She is also on the Exelon patch, 9.5. OK--I'm tired now. Have to go fix dinner. HUGS:)))
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My Mom does not have Alz. but she went through a phase where she wanted me to stay overnight...every night...or to hire a caregiver to do so. I realized quickly that it was an irrational fear so rational reasons did not work. I even tried to show her how expensive it would be to hire someone to just "sleep over" at her house and do nothing else. I also knew that if I caved in I would be doing this every night. So I called her before bedtime and talked about all kinds of fun or positive things. I got her to drink hot chocolate (the warm milk is good for relaxation), and her doc said she could have a little red wine before bedtime. Soon, her anxiety lifted and I haven't heard her complain since. It is so hard to determine what things she needs and what things she just wants. Unless she were ill, I would not get into the habit of being there every minute of the day...it is just too exhausting and your time will be better spent elsewhere.
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Get her Several DOLLS that lQQk the same. Have her keep up with the doll, NOT you, ( Have a spare hiding in all the places like your car, closets, purse) Get the Focus OFF of you.
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My mom is 92 and she is doing the same thing. I can't sit next to her all day or I wouldn't get anything done! I just read an article about writing things out for people with dementia or Alzheimers. I have been doing this for my mother for years mostly due to her hearing loss. I use my computer to print up sheets that tell her where I am - in the bathroom, making dinner, doing laundry. I make the signs with large letters and keep them simple. When we take the handibus, I have to sit in the seat behind her wheelchair and she can't see me. I keep a sign in the back of the wheelchair that I can give her that tells her where I am sitting and she can hold on to it. Apparently reading is one of the last things to go from our brains because we over learn it. With something in writing Mom can re-read it as much as she needs to. Mostly she knows she is not alone. Give it a try. I would be curious to know if it helps.
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