He is mentally alert. He's very stubborn. He lives in independent living right now. He is bored and wants to see the world.

Find Care & Housing
Let him go. Help him pack. And I do not say this lightly. I have worked in the senior care field for over 30 years, I know all the negative "what ifs" that can happen. But if he is independent of ADL's and cognitively alert then help him plan and do this. Yes, get him a travel companion (his lady friend sound like a good choice) and pay extra for VIP service - stay in better hotels with doorman to carry his bags, get wheelchair assistance at the airport, pay to have the car service waiting at the gate so he doesn't have to find a cab at the airport. Also make certain you get a travel insurance policy so if he gets sick he can get help as Medicare doesn't cover out for of USA travel. And if the worst case scenario does happen and he gets attacked by the tiger on safari because he couldn't run fast enough....well, at least he went out with his boots on - and I bet that is the way he wants it. My 80 year old Great-Aunt who used a cane that had a portable seat attached and was on multiple medications came and lived with me for 6+ months in China last year and we traveled all over SE Asia - it was her life long dream to travel- her 3 sons thought she was crazy but didn't stop her. She had a heart attack and died 4 weeks after returning to the USA - and now everyone agrees she wouldn't have wanted to do anything different. But remember - get that travel insurance!
Helpful Answer (22)
Reply to plum9195
Zdarov Jun 14, 2019
What a pleasant and informative response. So happy your mom got to make that trip.
Hire a travel companion and encourage him to send lots of photos.

He is 93 and he still has his mind, I think that he can do what he wants. If he had dementia, different story.

Is there a grandson, nephew, family friend that would be good with an all expenses paid vacay in exchange for assisting your dad?

We can't protect them from the inevitable, but we can make them very unhappy with the trying.
Helpful Answer (16)
Reply to Isthisrealyreal

I suppose the question is...Where does he want to go in these 2 weeks? You can not travel the world in 2 weeks. If he is living in Kentucky and wants to go within the USA that's one thing, if living in Kentucky he wants to go to South Africa that's another thing!
So I suppose my answer might be based on where he wants to go.
The travel companion, his friend sounds great.

OHHH! I just thought of something! Is your Dad a Veteran? If so there are Honor Flights that he could go on. There are some that are flights others that are bus trips. They take the Veteran and a Companion to Washington Dc. They tour the Memorials and other sites, there is a dinner, the bus transport is all arranged in Washington. On the trip there are Medics that can help out. Each Veteran has a companion that helps them with whatever they need. If he is a Veteran please look into this option. (No cost to the Veteran although the companion must pay)
Helpful Answer (13)
Reply to Grandma1954
Judysai422 Jun 14, 2019
My husband took my dad on an honor flight and he loved it. Great idea!
Folly? If you were 93 and you wanted to do something that you might not ever get to do again and your children stopped you because in their opinion your action was foolish, how would you feel? 100x over I would rather die doing something I wanted to do than to die parked in front of a television. Please reconsider. There are other options that you should investigate. Help him live his last days as he wants to rather than how you believe he should.
Helpful Answer (13)
Reply to Bumberella

May mom can’t stand, caregivers must use a Hoyer, can only feed herself & requires 24\7 care. Last summer (we knew mom would be going to the nursing home this year) she wanted to go to FL for vacation, we offered to pay for two caregivers to take her. They loaded up the hoyer, packs of diapers, meds, and took off. Even called later wanting to know if they could stay longer & we said yes.
If there’s money & you can talk him into taking a reliable companion, let him go. This could be his last opportunity to go anywhere.
Helpful Answer (11)
Reply to mollymoose

Thank you all for your responses. I like the idea of a test trip. He will not go with family. However he does have an 81-year-old friend who I thought might work for him. She is very alert and active for her age. She is a retired nurse. He is able to do activities of daily living given enough time. His gait is very slow and he can hardly move from sitting to standing . Anyway, I appreciate all the responses as it is a big help to me . Thank you so much.
Helpful Answer (10)
Reply to Peacefulness
dogparkmomma Jun 14, 2019
One concern is that if his gait is slow and he has difficulty changing positions, how would he manage on a train? The train motion is very uneven and not smooth or even predictable. Can he manage 8 hours in a train seat and getting up to go to bathroom? He wants to travel and I understand he misses travel and other parts of his prior life but he is not realistically considering all of the steps involved in travel.
So he can plan a trip that he will likely never take but have that fun to plan it or you can help him plan something small and local to "try it out".
See 2 more replies
So many people post their concern that their family member doesn't want to do anything, just sits and watches TV. Then when someone does want to go, a lot of people start talking about stopping them from going. An old person can't win. No wonder old people get hard to manage. If he wants to go, encourage him to take his lady friend.

So, something happens to him, Gee Whiz, he is 93 years old. I would encourage him to join an exercise class to build up his body a little bit while he is planning the trip. He might be feeble because he hasn't done anything. I know if I don't exercise regularly I lose strength faster than I used to.
Helpful Answer (9)
Reply to MaryKathleen
Isthisrealyreal Jun 14, 2019
I would tell him that to see the World is an Awesome Idea and that you would live to go with him and start planning.

Bring brochures for him to look at and decide and see if he actually decides on a place or just happy with thinking and talking about it.

Also suggest 1 week so he can see two different places in the World.

That way, after his first one week trip, you might not hear him ask for the 2nd.

Suggest ya'll go on a Cruise to Alaska.

Aabsolutely Beautiful Scenery.

He'll be able to eat when he wants and have plenty of time for napping in his room and going to whichever events he chooses to go to on ship.
Helpful Answer (8)
Reply to bevthegreat

My father took his last vacation to London at age 97, with congestive heart failure. I think it hastened his death, he died a few months later, but he went out doing what he wanted to do. He traveled with my mother who was 86 at the time with early stages of dementia. It was a bit scary for me to think about it, but they were doing what they love. It would be good if he could have a travel companion.
Helpful Answer (8)
Reply to NYCdaughter

When is the last time he has taken a trip? Why get him to make a trip by airplane by himself to a relative. Perhaps helping to arrange a trip to a relative will be an eyeopener for him. Instead of discouraging the trip, insist that he have a traveling companion.
Helpful Answer (7)
Reply to MsRandall

See All Answers

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter