We are worn out with this ongoing process and negativity...

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TG my Husband's attitude with his Mom was let her do what she wants. If it kills her that is her choice. My SIL said that a doctor would not see my MIL anymore because she didn't follow his directions. She ended up willing herself to die at 91 because she could no longer live the way she wanted to.

There is nothing you can do. I would stop taking her to the doctors if she is not going to do what she is told. Its a waste of your time and the doctor's.
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Reply to JoAnn29

Set in their ways! My mother is a nonconformist.
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom

You can't 'make' her do anything, as you already know, so try to let it all GO! If her refusal to follow doctor's orders shortens her remaining life, so be it; it's HER decision. You may want to tell her you won't be taking her to any more doctors (if that's what you're doing) until and unless she follows their orders. I'm 92 y/o mother lives in assisted living and sees the doctor who visits there weekly. So when she chooses to ignore her doctor's advice, at least it hasn't put ME out or caused me too much grief. I am always around to clean up the various messes she gets herself into, but I know I can't prevent those messes from happening. It's all tough, isn't it?
Best of luck!
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Reply to lealonnie1
NeedHelpWithMom Mar 7, 2019

Such a great attitude.
My 85 year old mother does this, but then says she doesn't remember the doctor telling her not to do whatever it is the doctor is now telling her to do. There is nothing wrong with her cognitively. She has CHF. Dr. told her to ease up on the salt. No chips, processed foods, etc. because of the water retention associated with CHF. She's been told this multiple times but does it anyway. Dr. again told her (phone appointment on Wednesday this week) that she must watch her salt intake. She asked Dr. "I can't have "low salt" chips?" Dr. said NO! Read labels (been told this repeatedly). Repeat, repeat, repeat for just about three years now. So, my advice is just accept it. I previously lectured, asked, suggested, and now I just don't say anything. "I'm glad you talked to the doctor" or something similar. I don't disagree or agree. This is the way it is. I have limited energy and patience and have found this is the best way to handle it.
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Reply to Bootsiesmom
JoAnn29 Mar 7, 2019
My daughter watched a woman die from CHF. The woman woke up complaining she couldn't breath. Instead of giving her the Lasik pill she told the woman she would get her a shot, works faster. When she came back, the woman held her hand out to her and died. Maybe Dr. should explain what happens when fluid gets into the lungs, you drowned.
Accept that this is the way your mother is and learn to not let it get to you? My father was the same way or maybe worse. His favorite book was "good pills, bad pills" so he would look up any prescription the doctor wrote and decide whether he would take it. Then there were the blood pressure meds where he got up each day and took his blood pressure then decided how much medication he would take that day - he liked his blood pressure a little high. And then there was the cycling through almost every doctor in a 30 mile radius...
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Reply to TNtechie

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