My mother has dementia and advance diabetes, cardiovascular and related health problems. She lives at home with my sis and recently sleeps a lot and no appetite. She does not want to go to the hospital. She is in no pain and just wants to rest. Is there any legal reason I need to force her to go to the hospital or call 911? I’m sensing this is final days for her but I’m not an doc. I know she will be more at rest at home. I’m POA but have a sister (also POA) that would argue that im be negligent. The sister does not do any. Caregiving other than text opinions and give her advice. She lives in Oregon and I live in Illinois but I fly out to help my middle sis who is primary caregiver and lives with mom. I do have dr appt for my mom tomorrow so they may say she must be admitted. Can my mom refuse even with dementia? Am I negligent if I grant her her wish of staying home? Thanks
What does 'Not wanting to go to hospital' mean to your Mother?
Not be away from family? To remain in her comfort zone? (Family can visit in hospital & people can be made comfortable.)
Some will specifically state they wish to die at home. This also may be due to wanting to feel safe at home, be comfortable. Sometimes this is possible. Sometimes it is not. How many hands-on caregivers there are is a big factor. As is length of final stages.
Sending kind thoughts your way.
If you and sister disagree about end of life care, that is a nightmare.
Your mother has dementia. Did she not do an advance directive for health care at any point?
Did she not discuss with anyone her end of life wishes?
You need now, as POA to discuss with the doctor Palliative Care and End of Life Hospice care. CHF with a failing heart at this age will almost certainly qualify this poor lady already suffering with dementia.
As I said, two co-equal POAs who disagree about end of life care, along with yet another sister who is the caregiver? No advance directive ever having been done? That is my idea of a true nightmare.
Your caregiver sister is the one doing the actual caregiving at this point.
You sisters need to GET TOGETHER and speak about the age, the condition of a failing heart, and a plan for end of life care that you can agree upon.
I can tell you that no doctor in his right mind (or hers) would suggest heroic care on a person in this condition and of this age.