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My mother of 88yrs old had a Fall and she is so confused agitated and her memory is gone bad since she went in a few days ago she's hitting the nurses won't take her meds and crying all the time to go home Shes calling me terrible names and getting very agitated with me cause I won't take her home..I feel guilty over her I don't know what to do anymore.I'm minding my 89yr old father who's got dementia also at home but my mother is very frail and not co operating with the medical team lashing out at them..Whats going on with her she went from a sweet mother,and in 3weeks like a light switch she got like this.

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Hospital delirium is a real thing at this age. Not your fault! Don’t bring her home because you feel bad. This could be a permanent change as well.
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Reply to ShirleyDot
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Ask if she's been checked for a UTI. This is super common and causes no fever a lot of times in the elderly. Instead, they can become delirious. I am not a doctor but took care of my mom for years before I learned here on this very forum that a UTI could cause behavioral changes as one of the only symptoms. You would think a doctor would have told me this but they did not. In the ER many times I had to insist they test my mom for a UTI and the first question they would ask me in return was does she have a fever? I would have to say she does not have a fever but this behavior is out of the norm for her and that elderly women and men could have this as their only symptom.

Most of the time I was right. Also, being in the hospital can sometimes bring on delirium, and it can be worse during the afternoon and early evening, known as sundowning.
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Reply to SamTheManager
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Why do you feel guilty over your mother's delirium?? That makes no sense. Please leave her in the hospital so she can be given calming meds and diagnosed. Every time my elderly parents were hospitalized they were delirious! I didn't feel guilty....I felt sad for their confusion but knew they were where they belonged.

Good luck to you.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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It's possible that the fall caused injuries that are causing the delirium. It's also possible that the fall was caused by something, such as a TIA (mini stroke), that also is causing the delirium. Or the delirium might be solely from the hospitalization (not meaning that it's the fault of the staff; rather, many older people, and even some people who aren't old, develop temporary delirium while hospitalized).

Can you tell the hospital staff who are taking care of your mom that the delirium is a new thing and ask them to try to determine the cause?
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Reply to Rosered6
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Mary,
please leave it to medical team. Many drs told me it is very common with hospitalization, they know how to deal with it.
My husband last year went to hospital almost every month.
And he had delirium several times. It was astounding to see him in that state.
He is very rational person otherwise.
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Reply to Evamar
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Hi, Mary. I am so sorry you and your family is going through all of this right now. I’m sure you already had your hands full with your dad’s dementia and now this!

I don’t have personal experience with hospital delirium but I hope others who do will chime in with ideas and insights for you.

Thinking of you!

PS I see you mentioned that your mom has been in the hospital for a few days, but you also mentioned that it’s as if a light switch was switched three weeks ago. Can you clarify how long your mother has not been behaving like her normal self?
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Reply to SnoopyLove
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Mary10 Jan 15, 2026
Hi luv thanks for your reply.yes she was absolutely fine last month.and then all of a sudden in about 2/3weeks we couldn't understand her she wasn't making sense in what she was saying calling people by wrong names getting.. up all sorts of the night very confused and agitated.It's so hard watching her like this I feel very sad for her..
Thanks for your response..
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I need some advice on this please as I'm crying I feel guilty over her.
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SamTheManager Jan 13, 2026
I'm sure it's scary, but please try to calm yourself, as you've done nothing wrong. Your mom is elderly and she had a sudden change in her condition and now she is in the hospital. Hopefully they will find out what is going on with her, but there is no need for guilt on your part. If it's about taking her home, well, that's the worst thing you could do. She needs to be evaluated and treated despite her not wanting to be there. She is now where she belongs being taken care of by professionals.
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