There are some good answers here. What I do is try not to push the issue so my DH doesn’t feel pressured into showering. If he doesn’t agree to a shower, I’ll give him a bed bath.
Once or twice a week, I’ll get two basins with warm water and a washcloth for each (One for soaping you and the other basin for rinsing) and towels. While he’s laying in bed, I’ll soap up a washcloth and start either with a leg or a hand, whichever is most convenient and least intrusive. It feels good, and he usually lets me continue. Or maybe I only get half of his body, so later in the week, I’ll clean the areas that were missed. Of course, you always go from the cleanest body parts to the dirty ones.
This has made it less of a power struggle to keep him clean.
According to your profile, your mother suffers from dementia/Alzheimer's which is likely why she won't bathe. There are quite a few tips and tricks you can use with her: check out Teepa Snow's YouTube videos on this very topic:
Teepa is funny and informative which makes her videos easy & fun to watch. You will likely gleans lots of useful tips as well to help you along this difficult journey with your mom.
If you discover your mother has a fear of falling, as mine does, you can get her a pair of water shoes (like the ones used at the beach) which have rubber soles. They have been a LIFESAVER for my mother who's fallen several times in the shower no matter HOW many contraptions were used. Now that I bought her the water shoes, she's fine and has had no more falls.
I agree that fear of falling is likely near the top of the list. Some need help and don't want to ask for it. Some would be embarrassed to have a family member assist them. Some believe they truly do not need bathing (even when we politely tell them they have an odor). Some have honestly lost track of when the last time was that they bathed. Ladies who get their hair washed/set at a salon don't want the humidity of a bath/shower to mess up their hairdo.
I have noticed for myself that taking a shower is like going to the gym for a work out. It can be very exhausting for many seniors. Especially if one has memory issues, and/or mobility issues, etc.
Another thing, some seniors become claustrophobic when in a shower. Especially if there are glass doors. I know for myself, I need to keep the far door open a couple of feet. Sitting in the tub works but it is a major chore getting in to sit down, and more so trying to get up :P
Then there is the fear of falling. If your love one is using a moisturizing liquid soap and/or hair conditioners, it will make the floor of the tub/shower feel like an ice rink, even with a tub mat inside. I almost slipped the other day.
Towel drying isn't easy. I find myself hopping around trying to get one foot and leg dry, can be a challenge. So easy to get one's feet tangled up in the towel.
If you can get your Mom to take a bath, note that a parent doesn't need to shower daily, twice a week or once a week is good enough, unless they are doing hard labor. If a parent is a Depends wearer, baby wipes work quite well between showers. Recently I found a product called “Water Wipes” in the baby section, quite pleased with the wipes.
See if you can find some rose scented powder. I remember when that was a big hit back in the 1940's and 1950's. Maybe your Mom would take a bathe knowing she could use that wonderful smelling rose powder afterwards :)
Once or twice a week, I’ll get two basins with warm water and a washcloth for each (One for soaping you and the other basin for rinsing) and towels. While he’s laying in bed, I’ll soap up a washcloth and start either with a leg or a hand, whichever is most convenient and least intrusive. It feels good, and he usually lets me continue. Or maybe I only get half of his body, so later in the week, I’ll clean the areas that were missed. Of course, you always go from the cleanest body parts to the dirty ones.
This has made it less of a power struggle to keep him clean.
https://www.google.com/search?q=teepa+snow+bathing&rlz=1C1CHBD_enUS896US896&oq=teepa+snow+bathing&aqs=chrome..69i57j0l2.4527j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
Teepa is funny and informative which makes her videos easy & fun to watch. You will likely gleans lots of useful tips as well to help you along this difficult journey with your mom.
If you discover your mother has a fear of falling, as mine does, you can get her a pair of water shoes (like the ones used at the beach) which have rubber soles. They have been a LIFESAVER for my mother who's fallen several times in the shower no matter HOW many contraptions were used. Now that I bought her the water shoes, she's fine and has had no more falls.
https://www.amazon.com/YALOX-Swimming-Quick-Dry-Barefoot-Exercise/dp/B07M5ZV2G9/ref=sr_1_11?crid=2QYWSJ8U0OOW7&dchild=1&keywords=water+shoes+for+women&qid=1590713202&sprefix=water+shoes%2Caps%2C349&sr=8-11
Best of luck
Another thing, some seniors become claustrophobic when in a shower. Especially if there are glass doors. I know for myself, I need to keep the far door open a couple of feet. Sitting in the tub works but it is a major chore getting in to sit down, and more so trying to get up :P
Then there is the fear of falling. If your love one is using a moisturizing liquid soap and/or hair conditioners, it will make the floor of the tub/shower feel like an ice rink, even with a tub mat inside. I almost slipped the other day.
Towel drying isn't easy. I find myself hopping around trying to get one foot and leg dry, can be a challenge. So easy to get one's feet tangled up in the towel.
If you can get your Mom to take a bath, note that a parent doesn't need to shower daily, twice a week or once a week is good enough, unless they are doing hard labor. If a parent is a Depends wearer, baby wipes work quite well between showers. Recently I found a product called “Water Wipes” in the baby section, quite pleased with the wipes.
See if you can find some rose scented powder. I remember when that was a big hit back in the 1940's and 1950's. Maybe your Mom would take a bathe knowing she could use that wonderful smelling rose powder afterwards :)