She owns a condo there. She has a friend, Shirley, who's 84, can't drive, but she comes. They live down the hall from each other. They have both been going about 25 - 30 years now. They stay until before Easter. This year though, my mom has been letting me drive more here at home and I've been running more for her. I also lost my dog last 2 years ago so that has freed me up. Anyway, my mom is in FL with my sister-in-law. She has a new pill machine. We did ask for a caregiver to come in and take care of it weekly. My mom goes back on forth from it's okay to it's not okay. When she met the woman all was well until the lady mentioned she would do this, that and the other thing. My mom shut down, then got mad at my sister-in-law. We have a return ticket for her this year as her friend Shirley has not called nor made a commitment to when she is going to Florida. Last night my mom called and said she was coming back, I said okay. This morning she called me early and we went a couple of rounds regarding this. I basically ended up saying if she was staying the caregiver comes in once a week, at least, to check the pills. This is mandatory. There is NO wiggle room. No flaking out! If you call me in a week to flake out, I will tell you that you are coming home then. She told me she wouldn't drive. I told her, in three days when you are bored you get in the car. I know you. And, I am thousands of miles away. There is nothing I can do. She asked me to have faith in her. I told her I did, yet she has to have faith in me as well. We came to a standstill really. I told her to table it and wait another day.
I see she needs more help this year, yet she's holding her own. I don't think she will be going next year at all and that will break her heart. I am praying and asking the Lord for help on this. I have started to get my support group in place as things progress to help me. I think I've done okay with two pastors and few friends and a counselor. It's been a struggle. I have other siblings. My sister-in-law helps the most. She is POA. I am the main caregiver. My mom relies on me. I can hear ya all saying why don't I fly there. There are several reasons; one, I don't really care to, two, the minute I fly there I will never get a moment's peace as my family will say we are busy, you go do it!, three, I have vertigo and back/neck issues from car accident. So several. I need a break too!!! I tried to voice this to a family member. I was basically shut down saying I was playing the "poor me" card. Umm... okay. Moving on. So, I can't force her to come back. Is she safe to drive? Here at home she could make the little trips; bank, hairdresser, Walmart, Walgreens, bank. It's been almost a year since she's been there and my sister-in-law has been driving, not encouraging her to drive. I get that, but then what is she going to do if she leaves my mom there? I just don't know. What do I do? Any good, wise words I can throw her way?