I’m his daughter and caregiver. This is getting to be too much for me. He’s already inappropriate around my daughter’s friends, service people, ogles women, blankly stares at lovers, etc. He called up a woman he knew from 25 years ago and they meet for sex. She leads him on even though I told her he’s bipolar and has Alzheimer’s. She’s 77 and also a widow, but she is mentally and physically fit. He’s really deteriorated since he met her (about three months ago), the mania, not being able to sleep or eat, being secretive, telling her lies about himself to either build himself up or make her feel sorry for him, humming, hand ringing, hiccuping, wandering, not focused, always losing things that are literally under his nose, spatial reference is off, senses are off, doesn’t dress properly, etc. I’m already exhausted and feel overwhelmed, and I know it’s only going to get worse. The doctors are helping to try and balance his meds, but this woman is making things more complicated. My dad is a like a slow moving train wreck and I’m miserable. Help!
I know he may not be able to control himself but do you really think your daughter should help care for her grandfather? I think at this point your relationship with her is more important than ur Dad. She probably doesn't look forward to coming home. These elderly are stronger than you think they are. What if he attacks u or her.
You've tolerated A LOT in helping with your father, but it's time for him to have round-the-clock care and for you to return to a life. I'm sorry!
Do you have siblings? If so, then why was this dumped on you? (Or why did you take it on?) Does your father pay you? Why did you give up your job and earning money for retirement, SS credits, etc.? If your father is only (yes, only) 80, this could go on for years. What's the plan for worsening of his Alzheimer's? Surely you don't expect to keep him living with you indefinitely? Don't you deserve better?
Time for your father to go to a facility.
Just shut the door.
We may have a troll, I suspect.
Stop the insanity, find a AL or MC for him.
He needs to live somewhere else, whatever his problems are, he should not be around young females. I would be calling the police if it was my daughter at your house and he said or did anything inappropriate and I would probably hope you went to jail as well because you didn't protect the kids. Sorry.
Best of luck
How old is your daughter? If she is a minor then this is not a safe environment for her and he needs to be out of there ASAP. You may not think he’d actually do something terrible, but it’s obvious he is not in his right mind. Majority of sexual assaults to those under 18 are done by a family member or someone the victim already knows.
She deserves to be safe in your home and not be subjected to this behavior. Intentional or not doesn’t matter. Your kid comes first. You do not have the luxury of time for meds to maybe fix the issue.
Even If he doesn’t live at your house,
keep your daughter and her friends the hell AWAY from him!
Can you contact this woman and ask her to leave him alone? Doesn’t sound like he needs to be driving either, to meet her or for any other reason. Also keep in mind that even adults in their 70s on up can still get diseases like syphilis, chlamydia and gonorrhea.