My 75 y.o. father and common sense, any advice? - AgingCare.com

My 75 y.o. father and common sense, any advice?

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My father sometimes doesn't use common sense, under the guise of doing whatever it is he wants to do, because he wants to do it. For instance, their dog has a knee injury and my father lets the dog go up and down stairs by herself, and he throws balls for her even though she skids on the hardwood floors to get them (exacerbating her injury). After dinner, he gives the dog their plates to lick, no matter what they've had, or even if the dog has had digestive issues that day. These are just examples. I don't know what to do with my dad when he's like this. What other signs of possible problems should I be on the lookout for?

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If you’re worried about the dog, put your foot down and take her to the vet. The doctor may give her meds. The trip to the vet doesn’t necessarily mean thousands in surgery. If she’s old, making her comfortable is the best way to go. Dad is being rebellious in his old age. But as a former animal welfare/ rescue volunteer, I get very angry hearing an animal is suffering due to negligence.

The other stuff, I’d let go. If Dad has a dishwasher, that will sanitize the dishes. If he doesn’t, wash the dishes yourself before you eat off of them. But make sure he’s not giving the dog onions, garlic or other dog-toxic stuff.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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Her profile says he has Dementia/ALZ. If this is so...Then Dad has lost his reasoning and his common says. There is no ryhmn or reason wit Dementia.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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I feel for your frustration but as Countrymouse pointed out, he probably doesn't agree and can't you just let it be. This is good advice. Seniors are going to do what they want, period. If you interfere they may just do things to prove their independence. My dad does it his way, by gum or golly come he'll or high water, crash and burn, then he wants help. Gets better, rinse and repeat. I finally had to tell him that yes, he can do whatever he wants and so can I, so next time his bad choices lay him flat, near death I will call 911. I can not keep myself stirred up because of his bad choices. Sounds like you are dealing with what I have, caring and wanting to help so he and the dog have the best quality of life possible, it took me 9 excruciating months to figure out that he doesn't want help, just rescuing when he hits the dirt. So hands off, love him the best way you can and know that dogs are smart, they know their owners and learn to survive in the situation.

Take care of you and don't worry about what ifs.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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Like what?

And what do you want to do about the current issues?

What you've described is indeed a lack of common sense. Or, more accurately, a lack of conscientious nursing of his dog, though I doubt if he sees it like that; and a lack of regard for hygiene.

[Aside: you've hit a nerve with me. My dog couldn't get out of bed this morning. I am feeling very tender about poor old dogs with creaky joints. But as the day's worn on he's loosened up and is currently having a nice snooze on the rug, you'll be glad to know].

Anyway. If the dog finds it too difficult to get up the stairs on her own, she will let you know. She will sit there looking feeble and appealing until you pick her up. And if she can do it by herself, she should - you don't either want her losing mobility in her other joints. If the knee seriously needs to be immobilised their vet may be able to splint the leg in some way; if the vet hasn't done that, it's probably because dogs do have a good deal of common sense and tend not to do something if it hurts.

But neither of these examples is limited to people with failing mental powers. All over the world, you will also find people who, for example, don't wash their hands after using the bathroom or before eating; who allow their animals to sleep on their beds; who feed their companion animals to excess resulting in health problems such as arthritis.

So I doubt that it's the case that your father doesn't *understand* your point of view. It's that he doesn't *agree*. He thinks you're being a fuss-pot. Plus, he's 75 - too young for mental impairment to be highly likely, too old (not to mention, a bloke) to be as punctilious about pathogens as you are.

You can't just let him be?
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Reply to Countrymouse
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