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She is healthy except for bad anxiety and depression. She lost her son to drugs when he was only 39 years old and we took her in right after. She does not drive, hates everyone and always mad! Every single day. It's effecting our marriage of 35 years and there is no room here! I can't insult her and ask her to move out but its affecting me real bad. What do I do?

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Does she receive treatment for her anxiety and depression? Did she receive grief counseling after her son died? How old is she? Is she retired? I agree with Barb about making your home, your home for you and your husband again. If it's not working out, it's not working out.

With covid-19, it might be a little tricky to get her set up elsewhere, but, you can do the groundwork. I might consider making a plan with strategies for what needs to happen. Write it down and it might help make it more manageable. Is your mother capable of making the arrangements for herself? Is there a place she could live near public transportation? Is it feasible for her to learn how to drive and get a license? Buy a car? Can she afford her own apt or would she need to apply for senior housing? There are a lot of factors. I've always felt better, if I knew the goal, the resources and had a plan of action. Of course, there's still the thing of telling her she'll need to be moving. It's tough, but, it sounds like she's not happy either.
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Reply to Sunnygirl1
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Here are a couple of ideas. You can take her to a geriatric psychiatrist and get her depression and anxiety treated. They are medical conditions and deserve to be treated as such.

You can have a sit down with your mom and say "mom, this isn't working out for us; we need to help you find someplace of your own to live." It's not insulting, it is merely the truth.

It doesn't sound like she's very happy there either. Perhaps it would be a relief to you both!
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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