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She is wheelchair bound and requires 24 hour care. She is also nonerbal but is bright. She becomes volatile when things don’t go her way. I am not strong enough to lift her. I am in my nineties and have exhausted all monies on in home care. Where do I go from here?

Where I live the County office is "Office of Aging and Disabilities. Your County too should have these kind of departments. Medicaid does offer "in home" care but not 24/7.

I know its probably the last thing you want to do, but your daughter needs to be placed. You should not be trying to care for her. Do you have DPOA, Medical proxy? If not, you may want the State to take over her care. It will probably happen anyway when you pass. Better to get it all set up now while you can enjoy just visiting and being her Mom.

If for some reason your daughter is taken to the hospital, thats the time to tell the hospital Social worker that she cannot be discharged to home because it will be unsafe. That you at 90+ cannot care for her and there is no money for aides. Don't let the SW say there is help. There is no 24/7 help. Just keep repeating unsafe, she cannot come back home other arrangements have to be made.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Dear Contrary33

Area Agency on Aging was the name of a national organization which has had offices available for every county in the US. We here on the forum have long referred caregivers to this resource to find local help. Not knowing your state it was a way to help you locate your local office.

March of 2025 it was apparently dismantled as a national resource by that name. So try searching for your state and the words area agency on aging and your state senior services office hopefully will come up.

I did find one resource that led me to a site called Elder Care Locator. It has a notice that it is being reviewed and updated but might be worth a try. I’ll include the link. It also has a 1-800 number.

https://eldercare.acl.gov/home

What I’m hoping you will find here is a social worker and legal aid to help you navigate the system of what help is available in your area.

Is your daughter’s disabilities long standing? Does she already have a case worker that you have been working with?

If your daughter is on Medicaid she may be eligible for nursing home services. Again a social worker could help.

If you have funds available for a certified elder attorney, they might guide you towards a solution for both you and your daughter. You need someone well experienced with services that are available and knows how to protect you.

Here is one last link that is for NAPSA. It has a link to finding your local APS (Adult Protective Services) contact. They may offer guidance as well.

https://www.napsa-now.org/neglect-and-self-neglect/

I sure hope you can find resources for you and your daughter. Come here anytime and we will try to help you.
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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This isn’t safe for either of you. She needs more care than you can reasonably provide, no one’s fault. Please call your local Area Agency on Aging for advice on more appropriate placement and how it will be paid for, along with any other services that may be available. I’m sorry for such an overwhelming situation for you both
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Note Medicaid (Medi cal in CA) will not cover 24 hour home care. They will cover facility care. You can also talk with Medicaid person about facilities with open beds,
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Reply to Guestshopadmin
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I’m so sorry your daughter and you are going through this. She should absolutely be eligible for Medicaid. Your local senior center may be able to provide assistance with the paperwork. I wish you both the best 🙏
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Reply to LilyLavalle
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