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Anyone else feel sad when there really is no one to remember their birthday? It’s almost as if they aren’t supposed to matter any more? My husband remembered because I put it on his calendar every year. No children, no family close by, no friends. 65 in my mind is an important milestone in a life. I bought myself flowers, a balloon and decorated the table. But it feels so pathetic. I came here because for years this forum has always been helpful and supportive. If this happens to you, how do you handle and stop feeling sorry for yourself? ( P.S. I have no friends for deeply engrained psychological reasons stemming from traumatic childhood. Decades of therapy, major behavioral changes, medications, has not yet completely changed this and it may never change). Thank you for being there ❤️

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I haven't had anyone in my family acknowledge my birthday in years. Yet it's look to me to have a party for one of the kids or some other family member when it's their day. I remember my mother and a couple other family members wanted me to have a party for my SIL a few years back when she was turning 40 years old. You know what my response was? I told them we should throw her exactly the same kind of birthday party I had. Then, oh, wait that was nothing. My mother and some family members were actually resentful that I didn't throw her a party.
I turned 40 and got absolutely nothing. I have a few friends but none who are close enough that they would do anything either. My neighbor took me out to dinner. My family did nothing.
It is what it is and you're not alone. For what it's worth, I'm wishing you a happy birthday. I hope you have many more and that they're all filled with joy and very good cake.
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bundleofjoy Dec 30, 2021
hugs, when you turned 40, your family did nothing? :( :( :( :(
and they wanted YOU to throw a party for SIL 40th? :( :( :( :(
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here's an extra bday hug for when you did turn 40!! :) :) :)

every number is special. every number must be celebrated!!! :) :) :)
i go totally crazy on bdays!
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I would suggest that the next time a special occasion comes around(not just your birthday)that instead of sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself, that you find someplace near and dear to your heart, that you can go do some volunteer work at, like a soup kitchen, homeless shelter, animal shelter, meals on wheels etc. You get the idea. You'll be amazed how reaching out and helping others will turn your frown upside down! And you may just come to not dread these special days after all.
Happy Belated Birthday!!!
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I'm sorry nobody remembered or celebrated your 65th birthday, that kind of sucks. HAPPY BIRTHDAY M!

Next year I think you should make a big deal over your birthday. Go find a very fancy French bakery & order an expensive cake for yourself. Then go buy yourself a gorgeous piece of jewelry from 'your husband' and put it on his credit card! Make reservations at a high end restaurant for the two of you and let DH know where you're going and what time to be ready to leave.

Screw it all. If they won't roll out the red carpet for the queen, ROLL IT OUT FOR YOURSELF! You're worth it! And don't ever forget it, either.
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Bummer that you're upset about no one remembering. Who do you think could have expected to hear from on your birthday? Not trying to be mean, just curious. If I'm reading your message right you have no kids, no family near, no friends. Are there people that you keep in touch with regularly? People who you reach out to them when it's their birthday and keep track of how old they are? Personally I'm really bad at that.

If you want to have people in your life that will remember your milestones, you are going to have to cultivate some relationships to make it be that way.

Next year maybe plan a party for yourself and invite a few people. Have a nice dinner at your house or a local restaurant. In Europe, we had to bring treats in to the office for our co-workers to celebrate our birthdays. So switch it around and help others celebrate you!!
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Happy Birthday to You! I am happy that you think enough of yourself to celebrate yourself on your birthday. Keep up with the positive self esteem year round. I too am a forgotten one. Even though I always help others no one ever thinks of me on my special days. I had low self esteem as a young person due to never having my worth acknowledged by family members. Now much much older and wiser I look back on my life and see that I have always been quite talented in many ways. Loving one's self and taking care of one's self should be the first thing we learn from others. But often they fail. Not our fault. Now I finally realize that I am captain of my ship so who the heck cares what anyone else thinks of how I steer it. Perhaps if you enjoy animals get yourself a rescue fur baby. Myself, I have always been closer to my dogs than people being quite an introvert. Why? Because they accept me as I am and never try to change me or tell me what is wrong with me. They just love you and you love them back.
Life is short - Love yourself. You have worth. And thank you for sharing with us.
Hope you have a great rest of today and every day!
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Happy Birthday!

I too am kind of an introvert, but was thinking of joining this Tai Chi workout that the senior center has in the spring. Anyone can go over 50, and it's free. Maybe a low-key activity like that would help you find low-key friends for future occasions without stress?

Just a thought. In any case happy birthday. FWIW if you're here next year, just chirp up. I'll remember.
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Happy Birthday!!!

It always meant something to me that my mom celebrated my birthday or at the very least remembered it, but with dementia, she doesn't even really understand who I am, let a lone know that it is my birthday. That has always been very sad to me, so I know how you feel.

I think you should come up with a ritual that you do on your birthday...something to look forward to. I don't know what you're into, so I am just tossing out ideas that may or may not appeal to you.... Go to a nice restaurant and order the fanciest dessert on the menu, make an appointment for a facial or a massage. Go to the book store and pick out a good book to start reading, sign up for a class teaching something that you have always wanted to learn like pottery or glass blowing or painting. It's your day...make it truly your day. Plan a roadtrip to a town you have never visited and have lunch in a cafe and just people watch.

65 is a milestone in your life. Make this year the start of something new! Once you take the bull by the horns and start doing things for yourself, I think the birthday blues will disappear :-)
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Happy Birthday! I’m glad you treated yourself well and celebrated with flowers and a balloon. Every day you should treat yourself well and love yourself.

You asked how we stop feeling sorry for ourselves. I do so by trying to be kind to others. So in this case I would take it upon myself to remember someone else’s birthday. It doesn’t always take away all the sadness but it helps. And I don’t have any expectations that others will remember my birthday. I always remember to be kind to myself. While I also am also socially awkward, I try to be the one in the room that has a “job.” So if for example, if I decided to volunteer at a soup kitchen, I would be serving the coffee or volunteering to bake something or cleaning the dishes. That way I have a purpose and I can be around others without having to “be social” because I’m busy with a task. I don’t know if that makes sense.

Anyway happy birthday, and yes,
65 is a milestone! All my love!
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There are lots of good suggestions here. I would like to add something. If you are on Facebook, you can go to the search bar and find some groups that would interest you and make on-line friends there. When you add your birthday in the sign-up process, notifications appear on your birthday, and the new "friends" there will see this notification and send you Happy Birthday messages.
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Happy Birthday.

Can I make a suggestion? Do you have a Facebook account? Announce to all that it's your birthday and you'll get so many birthday wishes!!!

I put it on my calendar when my relative or close friends have their birthdays and I email a birthday wish to them (cc'ing others close to them) on their birthday. I know how special it must feel to get a birthday greeting/wish from family/friends.
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katepaints Jan 4, 2022
It is astounding how many birthday wishes come from Facebook!
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