Mom is now in the moderate stage of Alzheimer's in AL facility that will transition to memory care. I see Mom at least 15 hrs each week, youngest local sis sees her 2 hrs per week, out of state sis and bro see her every 3 Months. Parents will/trust was 17 yrs old and stated eldest sis (out of state sis) was Medical POA. (I am # 2 of 4 Sibs).
My Sibs have ganged up on me that they "know best" even though I spend the most time with Mom. I provide 4-32 times more care than they do. When Mom moved to this facility big sis POA told me I could not talk to the staff- everything had to go through her. Local (lil sis) sis promotes herself as 'health care worker' even though she is a physical therapist. Eldest POA sis defers to lil sis to be her local 'eyes and ears' because of her 'health care background'..
This is pure bull-pucky since lil sis only visits 3 times per month. I have Mom at my house 3-4 days per week.
Plus, lil sis seems to have an agenda that Mom should be 'medicated'..she frequently sends texts/emails: "I called Mom tonight and she got agitated, I called the nursing station to check on her, maybe she needs anti-anxiety meds regularly?" It seems like lil sis is trying to establish a pattern. When Mom calls me with a "what is going on tomorrow?" call I walk her thru looking at her calendar, etc and she always gets calmer as we step through.
I understand there could be a point where Mom needs some meds..but from my frequent visits it doesn't seem we're there quite yet.
This disconnect coupled by their lack of visits and acknowledgement that I am the most familar with 'Alz Mom' frustrates and alarms me.
I have started to get comments by some of the staff that they only see me regularly but when other Sibs come they push their way around, lose patience with Mom and don't seem to really connect with Mom.
This is killing me.
I've talked with my significant other and if this escalates I have no problem going to an Ombudsmen or Elder Protective Services..anything less and I feel I would be failing Mom.
Does anyone have similar experiences and/or suggestions?