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Hello everyone. Thank you for listening. My 100 year old grandmother is living in assisted living in Texas, and my 76 year old mother is her caregiver. My gran has outlived her savings, and my mother is retired, and scraping by. As a result my wonderful husband has taken on the $4,000 bill for my gran's assisted living facility. My gran is not a US citizen (she is a permanent resident), so she doesn't qualify for any medical benefits. We've been paying cash for everything. It has depleted everyone's savings.


My mom just called to tell me that my gran lost her dentures. I think she put them in a napkin and they got thrown out. I'm guessing it's going to cost thousands to replace them. I honestly don't know what to do! I can't ask my husband to pay for it. My mom lives on social security. Even if we replace them, will she throw them out again? I can't stand the idea of her sitting around toothless, so my question is, what would you do?


FYI - there is no other family who will help. My uncle and his kids will not contribute.


Thanks in advance!

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My husband has had full dentures since age 21. I just asked him your question, and he said 'trade your grandma in on a new one'. Totally unhelpful! I agree that the cost (and the chance of losing the new ones) makes replacement a problem. Vanity about looking like a parrot is not a good reason for you to go broke. One thing that might help (and I haven't tried this on DH) is to buy a sports mouth guard, cost about $10. Depending on her cognition, this might make her feel that she has new dentures and things are right. It might even make her look better. Worth a try?
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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Or see if there is a dental school nearby that may be able to help?
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Reply to pamzimmrrt
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I spoke to my mom today - she agrees with you to not replace them. Apparently she's been removing them to eat, and she only eats soft food. It might just be a case of vanity at this point. I can't imagine anyone being happy without their teeth!

Ha ha - I can see that. I remember when my mom had her appendix out, and she had this handsome ER doctor - she said "please don't let him see me without my teeth!"
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Reply to BaileyBoo
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If your grandmother doesn’t have the money to replace them herself, I vote you don’t replace them. You’ve depleted your savings. You pay $4k a month for her care. You are looking at several thousands of dollars for complete dentures.....so I vote no.
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Reply to worriedinCali
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Hello, everyone!

Mom's 90. I'm her primary caregiver (64), and have been living in her house for 5 years. About 4-5 years ago I broached the concept of hearing aids. We had zero communication due to her deafness, and what little there was involved me having to 'shout' while being within a short distance to her face, so she could also see my face. I rarely if ever could do that without sounding annoyed (if not downright frustrated/mad, heaven forgive me). She began to soften up on looking into hearing aids (my 2 sisters, me, sons-in-law, bridge players conspiring to bring it up as often as possible as the cool thing to do).

Sorry, I digressed : ( To your question, though: In past 2 yrs., mom has markedly declined mentally and physically. We've had to set up a caretaker 6 hrs. a day/5 days a week, for her physical safety, and allow me time to manage the household [shopping, hired help for the house and property]. FINANCES is THE driving force at this point--so the hearing aid issue has become moot.

Hearing aids would also involve a number of thousands of $$--like your grandmother's denture issue. I've been practicing letting go of guilt when it comes down to difficult and imperfect choices on their behalf.

You and your family are doing the good work. Please know that.
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Reply to Davenport
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Well. I wouldn't guess, I'd find out what the replacement cost is. Then I'd have another think, and meanwhile see how much difference doing without them just for the time being is making to your grandmother.

That $4K that your (very!) wonderful husband is picking up... That's not a one-off figure, is it? $4,000 x how often for how long, any idea?

Your grandmother surely must have some income from somewhere, some residual benefits from wherever she lived and paid taxes all her life?
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Reply to Countrymouse
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BaileyBoo Mar 23, 2019
I am sure as my gran's health declines, the cost of her care will only go up. A slippery UPHILL slope with no plan, until her final days.

Sadly, my grandmother used to be quite a wealthy woman, but when we moved her to the USA 20 years ago, her currency devalued, and then she had numerous hospital visits for falls and pneumonia, and that tore through her life savings at an alarming rate. No one expects many people to live beyond 100 years, but here we are, approaching 101!
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How does she pay for het AL? Is there a dental school near you? You maybe able to get them cheap thru them. Is the dentist she got her original ones with nearby? Maybe he still has her cast and all thats needed is the dentures made. I assume she is not on medicaid.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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BaileyBoo Mar 23, 2019
My husband and I pay for her AL. Yes, thanks - I will call the dentist and see what the cost is to replace. She has what's left of Obamacare, but not sure if any dental is included. We need to call on Monday.
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My vote is to not replace them, but what does grandmother want to do? My dear grandmother managed to eat quite well without her teeth, she had dentures but only put them in when she was going out or having company. My mother had dentures from a young age and never was without them, in fact it was a family joke that the first thing she asked for after surgery was her teeth! Nonetheless when she became frail at the end of her life she didn't seem to care whether she had them (but she was on a pureed diet by then).
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