Now Mum with early dementia lives near me with a live-in carer (employed direct with a contract) as Mum is disabled from a bad fall. Mum is lovely and we get on very well. (Sadly not the same with my sister and brother in law who sent me an injunction letter after an argument 2 years ago.) The situation has greatly worsened as the carer is stirring it, and has been at times verbally abusive to me. My mother does not like her carer and we need to look at how to replace her. Anyone else had a similar problem?

What role do your sister and BIL, and how does the "injunction letter" factor into the decision?

Who drafted the contract, and what do the termination provisions provide?   Typically any contract (in the US) would address severance issues.   You need to follow the contract to the letter.

If you're uncomfortable handling the termination, have the attorney (or solicitor I believe they're called) handle it.    He/she will prepare a termination letter/notice for someone to sign.

But remember, ONLY parties to the contract can terminate it.   If your mother signed it, she has to execute the termination notice.  If your brother and/or SIL signed on behalf of your mother, they have to execute it.  If you weren't a signatory, you don't have any standing to terminate the contract. 

Someone will also have to evaluate whether or not to provide references.   

But before you do anything, secure the valuables or better yet, remove them from the house.  And read the contract to determine who can do what and when.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to GardenArtist

Er - !

Does your mother want to fire her? Where did she find her? How long has the carer been in post?

When you say "employed direct" - are we talking about a Personal Assistant paid through PIP funding?

I don't know what you mean by an injunction letter. Do you mean your sister spent some money paying a solicitor to continue the argument for her by threatening you with a civil suit? What did your sister want you to stop doing?
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Countrymouse

Country Mouse is our "go to" UK person. She actually works for the Health system in the UK. She maybe able to give u some help.

In the meantime, if Mom is not happy then start looking for a replacement. It will be hard right now depending on how the virus is effecting where u live.

Is Sister the POA? Then this may cause a problem if Mom has been found incompetent. The aide's attitude maybe such because she knows only Sister can fire her. But, she is an employee and as such she should respect anyone who enters Moms house. It really isn't so much her attitude toward you but how she treats your Mom. If Sister is POA, then maybe you should make it known, a note would do, that Mom is not happy.

If Mom is still competent to make her own decisions, then I may tell the aide that unless her attitude towards Mom and you doesn't change, Mom will be looking for another aide.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to JoAnn29
Countrymouse Apr 4, 2020
Social Care, not Health. Like there's a distinction! :)
See 1 more reply
How long has this woman been caring for your mom? What exactly are your mom’s complaints? Have you met the caregiver or going by what your mom says?

I am sorry that your mom is unhappy with her caregiver. I would speak to the caregiver to hear her side.

If it cannot be resolved I suppose it is time to find someone new. I would give her enough notice to be able to find another job.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to NeedHelpWithMom

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter