Mum hasn't been taking her meds. Any advice? -

Mum hasn't been taking her meds. Any advice?


I dont know what to do now i just listened to my answer phone and the nurse has told me that mum has been refused a carer to come in twice a day 7days a week so that shes up and dressed and taking her meds properly as she wont let me control them? She is diabetic and insulin dependent and shes not taking anything right.

I can go and appeal this as diabetes and dementia are very dangerous and im finding pills all over the place so there is no way she is taking them properly. I am disgusted as the nurses know this although the nurse has no say and she did apply for this but was refused.

What an earth can i do now without causing a huge row with mum as she gets very aggressive when i tell her im taking her pills away and ill give them to her. This is just stupid childish behaviour but dangerous and an awful stress on me now.
How do you control thier meds if she wont let me. If she continues like this she will have to go into a home as i cannot battle with this everyday and she could kill herself.

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No brother is useless and she wouldnt even let him? I think he is having issues as he seems depressed so i dont go there dont want to push him over the edge.

I will see her doc and see what he says but i know before i said she was a danger to herself he cooly replied "sure they all are".
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JB i want mum in a home yesterday but its her house and shes scoring well on the old memory tests?? You see when docs and nurses see her shes better than bette davis for acting and i feel as if its always my word against hers IF for once someone with half a brain just came and saw how she really lives and behaves then yes they could see this.
By some miracle nothing has happened yet i mean she hasnt even hypoed in six months and thats weird as shes not eating right OR taking her insulin right?? but this cant go on i need professional help now and just cant believe shes been refused help its all to do with money and if there is someone there to look after her she will get no help they dont care if ive had a stroke as im not THIER concern?

Im maybe counting too much on this geriatrician i mean what can they do pams right they are treated like an adult and seem to be responsible for thier own doing but how can they be responsible if they have this illness see i just dont get it?
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Do you think she'd let your brother give the meds? Does he live close enough to do it twice a day?
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She gets very aggressive and threatens to kick me out then calls my brother and says im bullying her? And (golden boy) just says nothing and acts like a bouncer in a nightclub to keep the peace so to speak? hes pretty useless and in serious denial about her illness.

Thing is if something did happen as it surely will am i responsible? you see it seems to me that youre damned you do or dont?

I am seeing her geriatrician soon but have so much to tell him i need to write to him first as i may only get few minutes with him.

I really am fed up with this but threatening her with a NH dosnt seem to work and also getting her into a home against her will?? i mean even the doc said even if she was deemed incompetent you cant force her and doing it by court order would take ages and is not that easy?
I think my mum will end up violent towards me as her eyes bulge when shes angry i will TRY? and speak to her GP but hes afraid of me as i know more about this illness than he does his hands shake when i see him and he is nervous as he didnt listen to me for 2yrs when i was screaming "dementia".

My friend says something will happen and then your family will wake up to how ill she really is? i wish something would give as im not sleeping well, i obviously dont want her to end up in hospital but that may happen if this continues. Funny isnt it or strange that its ok i cook,clean,do everything and she dosnt have a problem but her meds well thats just something she HAS to do??
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We went through something similar and mom did end up in a hospital. We told her she did this to herself, and she was penitent at the time. Now back in the ALF she is defying the rules again. It's their desire to be independent, to control their own destiny. I told mom I would dump the entire pill box and she would be dead in 48 hours. She decided to take her meds. Sometimes you have to just spell out the consequences and let them decide to live or die. Then go outside and bang your head on the side of the house.
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"She will have to go into a home" sounds like the answer to me. But I think you've said before that that won't work for you right now, right?

I'd appeal the decision. Here the same person would not be allowed to get her up and get her dressed and also give the medicines. Would you have a better chance just asking for the nurse to give meds? (She wouldn't have to be dressed to take meds.) How often does Mom need insulin?

What do you mean by "gets very aggressive"? Does she/would she strike you? Does she get violent? If it is only verbal (and I don't mean "only" as if that isn't significant) maybe you just take her pills away and give them to her. Let her rant. I would think she'd get bored or tired of ranting all the time, but I don't know her, and I do know that dementia causes strange behavior.

Does she take any vitamins that you could safely let her take on her own, while you are in charge of the other meds?

This sounds like a miserable situation. Good luck to you.
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