My mum is almost 100. She has medication, wash, breakfast in the morning but cries and is upset if we get her up. She prefers to sleep until 13.00 when she has lunch, dresses and has more medication. Is this worrying for her mobility and general health? The pattern above avoids a lot of distress.

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Mom is 100. She's earned the right to do as she pleases. Period. Whether she loses mobility due to sleeping in or not is senseless.....she can't be mobile 24/7 anyway!

Please do not try to micromanage a woman who's already outlived the rest of everybody by 22 years. She wins this game, no matter what turns her health may take from here. Nobody lives forever.
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Reply to lealonnie1
funkygrandma59 May 26, 2024
Being 100 years old is likely what damages her mobility.
The body does wear down.
I would now let her have whatever pattern works for her mentally.
There is no changing the fact that the body is failing at this age, and that something will eventually allow her to pass.

From a repost by Geaton below you say that your mother is on a lot of drugs that would definitely affect her in terms of keeping her sleepy.
You also tell us a doctor has said she should not be in pain because there is "nothing wrong" and as an old retired RN I have to tell you that I think your doctor may be certifiably insane.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
MiaMoor Jun 1, 2024
I was very concerned to read that a doctor confidently asserted that someone's pain was psychosomatic. I would no longer trust that doctor.
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Rowen, your mom is 100, at 100 I feel like she should be able to sleep as late and long as she wants, she worked all her life, maybe she just doesn't want to work anymore.

I get how hard this is, it's the hardest thing we will ever do and seeing them declining is so hard. My mom's getting more and more frail , where are days out shopping, are going to turn into going for rides now. And it stinks. Took her to are local nursery to get flowers, left and said that will most likely be the last time she goes there.

It's hard to accept decline but it's nature. It's what happens to all of us at one point , weather or not your 88 like my mom or 100.

Best of luck.
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Reply to Anxietynacy
Anxietynacy May 26, 2024
It's a lot like when you have a baby in reverse. Everything is the first time they sit up, they're first words, and steps. Now it's watching, there last. The last time they can do this or that. And it SUCKS, but it's life!
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By yourvresponse, your not worried about you, your worried she will lose what mobility she has. She will anyway. I knew a man that walked all over into his 90s. Little by little his walks became shorter and shorter. Until about 98 his legs just gave out. He asked his DIL if she thought his age had something to do with it. He lived to be 102.

At 100, let Mom do what she wants.
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Reply to JoAnn29

Let your poor mum sleep. At 100 years old I'm sure she's beyond exhausted.
and if letting her sleep keeps her in less "distress" then that is a win win for all involved.
Please just enjoy whatever time you may have left with your mum, and quit worrying about the small stuff.
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Reply to funkygrandma59

Ro, if she just has a later start time for her day and she is getting up and being active, I would not fear what being a late starter will do to her health.

I have many ultra senior friends and they all get up and about way later then they use to, their activity has slowed down but, they aren't more sick because of it.

I am told they are just tired and ready to go. They do what they must but, they are losing or have lost interest in being what others think they should be, especially the doctors. So they do the dew and get through each day as they can.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal

I am managing the care of my granny and have similar issues and concerns. My granny at 100 did break her hip - so walking is challenging for her. She’s now 101. In my experience over the past years, moving is key to her not being miserable. She’s prone to depression and anxiety as well - survived German imprisonment in WWII and lots more, so you can imagine. We encourage and motivate her as much as we can. Her caretaker has managed to get her going at 7:30 so they can have breakfast with everyone in the dining room. She then naps after breakfast. She now naps after lunch too. Getting her up means he wakes her up, but she is used to it now and goes with the flow. This flow has improved her overall engagement and therefore activity.

If your mother is so resistant to getting up for breakfast, that it is a fight, it seems it may best not to create aggravation if you cannot find a way to coax her to get up. I wonder if your team of doctors can be helpful. There may be medication issues that make it more difficult to wake up — but I suspect you have tried that since you seem very engaged and proactive in her care.

I am experiencing that my granny is slowing down and is less engaged overall - but still sees family and friends. It’s a bit harder to get her to go out, but when she doesn’t she complains of being stuck in her apartment. Creativity seems to be required to get her going. I have better luck with one of her caregivers than other.

I see many posts that say to leave your mother be. My experience has been that kind and proactive management has been invaluable in keeping as high quality of life as you can provide. Even with a sharp mind - my granny does not seem to be able to plan the day too well.

From what you describe, you’re doing a fabulous job of caring for your mother. She’s lucky.
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Reply to Agatasul

Thank you for your kind replies - all I want is to do the best by mum - her dr says encourage her to get up earlier - I do but stop if it causes her distress. Thanks again. xx
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Reply to rowena1953
Hedgie Jun 1, 2024
I would let her choose her own sleep schedule. So much is taken away from our very senior citizens, let her have control over her sleep habits.
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Haha! That's my schedule, and I'm 54! I worked PMs and NOC shift my whole career and my body still thinks it's on PM shift.
My mom and I have both always been late birds. My dad had to get up so early for work and me for band practice at school. We TREASURED sleeping to noon on weekends!
Maybe this is just how her internal clock works now. Honestly, I worked long term care, and my mom is now in memory care. They get them up at 7:30 a.m. for breakfast and shut the place down at 7 p.m. A lot of them take naps during the day. Does it really make any difference? If she's up and happy at 1 p.m. at 100 yrs old, I say good for her!!! He'll on your schedule, probably, and sometimes it's hard to make late afternoon appts., but otherwise, let it be. That's my opinion.
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Reply to Bunnymomjulie

Your mother is 100 and slowing down. A nurse may check on her.

My mother lived to be age 95 in 2014. The last 6 months of her life, she slept up to 20 hours daily, so a palliative nurse always checked on her. She also had several medical conditions.
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Reply to Patathome01

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