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We are feeling pretty stressed.. the past month we've seen my 90 year old mum's health decline very quickly. She's had dementia for a few years but it was never that bad until now. The past two weeks, we've been called 3 times to say our goodbye's to her, as staff thought it was the end.She had the flu and chest infection, has a UTI most of the time and has had "turns"..not TIA's or stroke according to doctors..(who are baffled! However her brain scans came back negative)..where she goes unconscious for a short period..and it is as if she has died..but she rallies..however, this time, the third was a lot longer and she "came to" after a much longer time ( over an hour?) in the latest one, in which she was taken by ambulance to a hospital emergency ward. To cut it short she now, (two and a half weeks later), has been returned to her nursing home.She seems so tired and shuts her eyes,and is so confused! She now needs help to eat and drink..and is saying each day, over and over that she "wonders if her mum and dad got home alright". (of course both died years ago!! Her dad died at 52,when she was 22 and her mum died at 82,when she was 60. Strangely, she never mentions my dad.. which is weird).. I asked if she saw her mum and dad recently and she said no, and when I asked where did they go? I got "I don't know, but they were coming back I think". Most questions are answered lately with "I don't know"..like,"did you have a good sleep?" or "Did you have a nice lunch" etc..all are answered with "I don't know" or "I don't remember". Today she told me she is getting very confused these days.so it amazes me she is aware she is confused!.Some days she knows us and other days I'm not so sure, but we get a smile and each day we get asked about her parents getting home.. I asked her today "what would you say to them if they were here?" and I didn't expect her to say this..but she said "I would tell them we did very well without them." She seems to be unable to make much conversation, forgets visitors were there the day before. and sometimes starts a sentence, only to stop in the middle of it and then forgets what she was going to say.. It is so sad..has anyone had this too? Is it a normal progression?

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Thankyou, I hope you and your mum are going alright.It is a horrible disease.The poor things, so hard.
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Hi, my mother has dementia. She is 89 and has had some really bad days a month ago. She will often ask for her mom and dad saying she wants to speak with them. We don't correct her by saying they are passed as it will confuse her more. She will ask for people often also that have passed. In my own opinion I just say they aren't home, or if she will tell me something out of the ordinary i know it's just her dementia. I will do whatever I can to make her days happier and comfortable for her. Her memory will wander as we speak, she has long forgotten the days etc.But, she will remember anyone when they come but will forget as soon as they leave who was there. It's alright, it's all part of this horrible disease.
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Thankyou, I think we just needed to know how to respond....and it's helpful to know not to question it ... it is so hard to see her this way, breaks my heart..We have always been so close. I see her every day now. It broke my heart to have her in a nursing home but have had serious health issues too.Hope you are going ok! Thanks! xo
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All of what your seeing is part of dementia. Then add to it an infection or illness of some sort and this is the result. I have read on this site that immediately preceeding death is a period of what seems to be very lucid moments. Whatever she is saying is her reality, just listen and acknowledge without questioning.
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