Is anyone here dealing with multiple myeloma in an aging parent?

My father was 71 when he died from a heart attack. He had been diagnosed with MM several years earlier (don't know quite when since he kept it from the family for as long as he could). Not a bone marrow candidate, he did radiation which didn't work. Chemo threw his diabetes totally out of whack and he ended up on dialysis at home, where my mom would change his solution bags for him as he rested in an easy chair. It was pretty stressful for both my mom and dad. My father was always a fiercely independent, hardworking man, so becoming weaker and dependent on others for everything became very frustrating for him. He became short tempered and angry quite a bit. I finally interviewed caregivers and hired one to start helping them both out. My father died the night before she was supposed to start. I was blessed to have been with him the afternoon and evening of his death. He was frustrated that he hadn't brushed his teeth in a long time, so I sat him up (he was now pretty much bed ridden), washed him up and got his toothbrush and a pan of water so he could do it himself. He seemed much more relaxed and calm. He had pains and I gave him a back rub until he fell asleep. Now I realize that the back pains were his warnings of the coming heart attack, but didn't realize it then. I kissed him goodbye as he slept, left for home (an hour's drive) and was barely in the door when my mother called hysterical that he was in distress and not breathing. 911 was called and I raced back there, but he was already gone. That was in 1996 and I still wish I had stuck around a little bit longer, but am comforted with the fact that I got to see him and help make his last hours more comfortable. That is all you can hope for I guess. Make them as comfortable as possible. You might do some research into the latest updates on MM. I thought I saw some advancements in this area recently. Good luck, have patience on the "angry" days, watch for depression and be supportive.

In 1996 my 69 yr old brother was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma only after spending months trying to figure out why he had pain in various parts of his body. He was always told he had arthritis or muscular aches and pains and to take a muscle relaxant. Long story short he was in and out of the hospital with pneumonia, congestive heart failure, and his kidneys failed and he was on dialysis until he died 5 months later. He was in a nursing home for the last 6 weeks or so of his life, moved to the hospital for 2 days and a hospice facility for the last 24 hours of his life. It was a roller coaster for his wife and family. He rec'd good care from visiting nurses who helped with the med schedule. He took many different medications and I tried to help my sister in law with a schedule but it was only the visiting nurses who could figure it out for us. My sisters and I visited him from a long distance....IL to Ohio .... and helped with house cleaning, meals, visits to dialysis, brought in videos to watch, did grocery shopping, you name it, we did it, including bringing Holy Communion to him and his wife. There are various forms of MM and I don't know what your mother has but I wish you all the love and the support one can possibly want and deserve. God bless you now and always. I hope what I have written doesn't frighten you but the disease moved quickly. .............I also think the hospital had something to do with his demise. They had him on morphine, fed him, reclined him too quickly, he regurgitated and aspirated into his lungs. He was code blue, in a coma for 8 days or more, came out of that but that's when his kidneys failed. It was a very difficult time. So be attentive to what is goind on. Blessings to you.

My 87 year old grand mother was recently diagnosed with MM. Two of her daughters don't want her to take the chemo pill Revlimid due to all the potential harsh side effects, but her other kids want her to take the drug. Her doctor is saying she would have 1 year to live without the drug. She would be taking 5mg, can anyone share their experience as to the side effects of this drug.

My Mom is 84 and has been dealing with MM for 5 years. She did the radiation which actually did help and she had no side effects. She was treated for 2 years with oral chemo until we decided to stop. She also had kypho-plasty procedures for her spinal fractures which was immediate relief but has since compressed again and they say they can't do that procedure again. The oral chemo would have her so weak after about 9 months and I would insist they take her off of it for awhile. She lived with me for over 2 years but has since moved back to her own house, takes meds for pain and is doing pretty good. At his age, like you said, they are not candidates for bone marrow transplant. But, my Mom's MM has not been active in the 2 years she has been off chemo. And, she has had no other fractures other than her spine. I'm sure that case by case, results are different. Good luck with your decision.

to Robyn0717 I'm just writing to suggest that you try to keep abreast of what meds, treatments, side effects, positive responses, and as many details of his past and current health history. This may be increasingly important. If your father gives permission, you may see and follow all his records. You might very well need all that information in the future. And right now in fact, you can become a much better advocate for/WITH him. If your father is approached in a very positive fashion with every ounce of dignity and respect, wherein he still is the director, he still feels he has control, he remains as independent as possible, he will probably work with you. The end result will be much better care for him, now and in the future. You can honestly tell him that this is your aim, that you want to help keep him functioning at his peak so he can be happy, comfortable and hold onto his independence to the fullest throughout his entire life. Make sure you tell him and show him your love everyday, and assure him you will always be with him. Hope this helps.

to Robyn0717 again: I'm sorry. I did not mean to leave out the fact that it is obvious you are loving and caring, and doing a great job now. As you mentioned, he is receiving the appropriate medical (psychiatric) care. And, he "...is truly enjoying his life." He is very fortunate to have you!

My mom is 89 and is in her final stages of multiple myeloma. Her biggest problem stemmed from hypercalcimia...too much calcium spilling out of her bones and into her blood. She would get weaker and limp, her mind would be fuzzy. Treatment with Zometa helped bring it down. She also has been treated with Velcade. I believe she has had her last treatment...we have called Hospice. My heart is with all of you with family and friends with this disease.

Thank you so much, everyone, for the information so far. I find a lot of ideas and encouragement as well as reality in your words. Thank you and God bless you and your loved one.

My father has multiple myeloma as well. The biggest problem we experienced was his depression due to the diagnosis. Like your mother, due to his age (88) he is not a good candidate for any therapy whatsoever. The only thing I can tell you is watch for signs of depression - signs that she may be "giving up." My father, after seeing a psychiatrist was put on some medication - I'm sorry, but I don't know which one due to HIPPA regs - but he became reenergized and is truly enjoying his life. I know this is probably of little help, but maybe will give you some hope. I will pray for your mother and wish you all the best.

Google Cannabinoid Oil. It cures all cancers...even lung. It should cure your Mom within weeks. Although Marijuana isn't legal in a few states yet....Cannabinoid oil is legal because it is a medicine and of course the molecular structure has changed.