Is anyone here dealing with multiple myeloma in an aging parent?

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Recently my husband and I moved my mom into assisted living closer to us; she asked for help as she has fallen a few times and has very low energy. After visits to new doctors and 3 days in hospital for blood transfusions, she has now had a bone marrow biopsy to confirm multiple myeloma. She is 85, not a good candidate for bone marrow transplant and I doubt she is strong enough for chemotherapy or radiation. Very luckily no dimentia, although she has turned control and decisions over to me as power of attorney, I worry about what additional help she will need and when. Anyone out there who has dealt with similar situation? What might we expect?

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My 87 year old grand mother was recently diagnosed with MM. Two of her daughters don't want her to take the chemo pill Revlimid due to all the potential harsh side effects, but her other kids want her to take the drug. Her doctor is saying she would have 1 year to live without the drug. She would be taking 5mg, can anyone share their experience as to the side effects of this drug.
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Stressout....I am Roseanne3 from the Feb. 2015 above. You are right...treatment for MM has changed so much. My dad was diagnosed over 12 years ago and there is so much more they can do now. He died in March 2015 (about a month after my post) but, unfortunately, he did suffer. MM (at least for him) manifested mostly in his bones and they just continued to deteriorate. Some people don't get that, some have kidney issues...my dad had none of that. You CAN do this and you don't have to do it alone. Seek out help from your dad's doc, senior agencies and if it comes to the point of being necessary...hospice. My dad got excellent care through hospice. He was under hospice for 7 months and it was the worst experience of my life...and the best. I was able to be there for my dad on an almost daily basis when he needed me the most. It was so difficult but I am grateful I was able to do it for him. You love your Dad and you will find the strength to help him.
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My dad has had MM for the past 11 years. It just came back and he is now 76. I am worried that he will not make it t his time. He received a port and just started his treatment program that will last 6 months. Apparently the drugs have gotten better over the last 10 yard. I pray that there will be no suffering involved when the time comes if he does not get better this time around. He is usually very independent, but just told me today that it is getting harder for him to walk. He has always had pain, but they are insisted that most of it until just recently was from his osteoporosis. I hope I will be strong sought to make it this time as my dad is hard of hearing and my mom gets a little confused. I have an older sister but she has 2 jobs and just became a grandma for the 2nd time. I take most all of the responsibility on myself. Please pray for us!
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My father (79) got his diagnosis for MM about 11 years ago. He had a stem cell transplant and was in remission for years. the last 2 or 3 years it slowly came back and he entered hospice 6 months ago..The chemo treatments nearly killed him. Sorry to be so blunt but MM is a really complicated cancer and manifests in so many different ways. Sometimes it affects the organs but my dad's MM has affected his bones to the point where he has many broken ribs and fractures. Nothing can be done now for that and he is now under excellent pain management through hospice. Good luck to you and your family my heart goes out to you.
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My mum is 85. She has osteoporosis, osteoarthritis and 3 leaking heart valves. Her pain is being controlled by morphine. Sometimes the pain is intense. Her GP has just told us she has protein in her blood and all the symptoms of Myeloma. Our serious dilemma is her losing the will to live if she know the diagnosis. She is too fragile for chemo but just now she is able to come out for lunch and is looking forward to family gatherings and we feel it would be best to let nature take it's course. Please can you help with this enormous decision as to wether to tell her or not?
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Thank you so much, everyone, for the information so far. I find a lot of ideas and encouragement as well as reality in your words. Thank you and God bless you and your loved one.
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My mom is 89 and is in her final stages of multiple myeloma. Her biggest problem stemmed from hypercalcimia...too much calcium spilling out of her bones and into her blood. She would get weaker and limp, her mind would be fuzzy. Treatment with Zometa helped bring it down. She also has been treated with Velcade. I believe she has had her last treatment...we have called Hospice. My heart is with all of you with family and friends with this disease.
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My father was 71 when he died from a heart attack. He had been diagnosed with MM several years earlier (don't know quite when since he kept it from the family for as long as he could). Not a bone marrow candidate, he did radiation which didn't work. Chemo threw his diabetes totally out of whack and he ended up on dialysis at home, where my mom would change his solution bags for him as he rested in an easy chair. It was pretty stressful for both my mom and dad. My father was always a fiercely independent, hardworking man, so becoming weaker and dependent on others for everything became very frustrating for him. He became short tempered and angry quite a bit. I finally interviewed caregivers and hired one to start helping them both out. My father died the night before she was supposed to start. I was blessed to have been with him the afternoon and evening of his death. He was frustrated that he hadn't brushed his teeth in a long time, so I sat him up (he was now pretty much bed ridden), washed him up and got his toothbrush and a pan of water so he could do it himself. He seemed much more relaxed and calm. He had pains and I gave him a back rub until he fell asleep. Now I realize that the back pains were his warnings of the coming heart attack, but didn't realize it then. I kissed him goodbye as he slept, left for home (an hour's drive) and was barely in the door when my mother called hysterical that he was in distress and not breathing. 911 was called and I raced back there, but he was already gone. That was in 1996 and I still wish I had stuck around a little bit longer, but am comforted with the fact that I got to see him and help make his last hours more comfortable. That is all you can hope for I guess. Make them as comfortable as possible. You might do some research into the latest updates on MM. I thought I saw some advancements in this area recently. Good luck, have patience on the "angry" days, watch for depression and be supportive.
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In 1996 my 69 yr old brother was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma only after spending months trying to figure out why he had pain in various parts of his body. He was always told he had arthritis or muscular aches and pains and to take a muscle relaxant. Long story short he was in and out of the hospital with pneumonia, congestive heart failure, and his kidneys failed and he was on dialysis until he died 5 months later. He was in a nursing home for the last 6 weeks or so of his life, moved to the hospital for 2 days and a hospice facility for the last 24 hours of his life. It was a roller coaster for his wife and family. He rec'd good care from visiting nurses who helped with the med schedule. He took many different medications and I tried to help my sister in law with a schedule but it was only the visiting nurses who could figure it out for us. My sisters and I visited him from a long distance....IL to Ohio .... and helped with house cleaning, meals, visits to dialysis, brought in videos to watch, did grocery shopping, you name it, we did it, including bringing Holy Communion to him and his wife. There are various forms of MM and I don't know what your mother has but I wish you all the love and the support one can possibly want and deserve. God bless you now and always. I hope what I have written doesn't frighten you but the disease moved quickly. .............I also think the hospital had something to do with his demise. They had him on morphine, fed him, reclined him too quickly, he regurgitated and aspirated into his lungs. He was code blue, in a coma for 8 days or more, came out of that but that's when his kidneys failed. It was a very difficult time. So be attentive to what is goind on. Blessings to you.
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to Robyn0717 again: I'm sorry. I did not mean to leave out the fact that it is obvious you are loving and caring, and doing a great job now. As you mentioned, he is receiving the appropriate medical (psychiatric) care. And, he "...is truly enjoying his life." He is very fortunate to have you!
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