How do you move a parent to assisted living facility when they don't want to?

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You can't go against a (sane) person's wishes, so they have the upper hand. However, you don't have to assist them in all of their needs either. They will be forced to find someone else to help them OR move somewhere where they can be taken care of. Not all adult children can withhold help however.
Much easier to move them if they have dementia.
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The original question was how to move a parent when they don't want to move to assisted living - if you are assisting them & enabling them to live at home - stop doing it. I think my in-laws would go to assisted living if they were not able to brow beat my brother/sister in law to perform all of the handy man-fix it work (while loudly criticizing), take care of the yard, clean the house, do the laundry, bring in groceries, and start to more and more drive them where they need to go. If they have to face a house they can no longer maintain and learn they need help - they will find it. (no cognitive issues)
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My mother is 95 yrs still lives at home. But she has forgot how to cook. We take meals into her. But our fear is her safety. She has slowed way down walks slow uses a cane. She sets around to find things wrong with her. It's something new everyday. An of course I'm the only daughter it's getting more than I can handle. I worked in a nursing home for 25 yrs and now it's my turn to figure out what to do. It's not a whole lot of fun. But I feel like she needs to be somewhere with 24 hr nursing. For the first time in my life I'm lost
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My mother is 95 yrs still lives at home. But she has forgot how to cook. We take meals into her. But our fear is her safety. She has slowed way down walks slow uses a cane. She sets around to find things wrong with her. It's something new everyday. An of course I'm the only daughter it's getting more than I can handle. I worked in a nursing home for 25 yrs and now it's my turn to figure out what to do. It's not a whole lot of fun. But I feel like she needs to be somewhere with 24 hr nursing. For the first time in my life I'm lost
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Only joining this convo as we are back on the utter twaddle about care facilities.

They ARE NOT ALL BAD.
In fact MOST ARE GOOD.
Some ARE EXCELLENT.
A FEW ARE BAD and should be closed down I agree.

Dont generalise. I have visited (and for an extended visit lasting 2-8 hours at a time and on several occasions and unannounced) well over 100 nursing homes and care homes and only once have I seen behaviour that needed reporting past managerial level and that particular home was closed down in less than 3 weeks don't spout rubbish.

What people DO need to know is that NO CARE FACILITY IS INFALLIBLE.

No manager can afford to rest on their laurels and expect everything to run smoothly - it wont.

There will always be difficult residents and to be fair difficult families to handle and manage. There will always be staff to monitor and train and retrain. As a relative it is your role to monitor your loved one and to report in writing to the manager anything you see that is wrong.

If it continues report it to Social services or whoever in your state deals with these facilities with the copies of the letters THATS HOW TO HANDLE IT. Take photos if you need to but make sure you do not capture any person except your LO in the picture or you will be liable. (I have issues about this but it is the law in most places).

Finally, these places are doing a job we can no longer fulfil or your LO wouldn't be there. Try caring for someone 24/7 who is demanding, incontinent, spiteful, violent at times, vicious with the tongue all the time, when you have had no qualitative sleep for a long time. I haven't slept a full night through for 5 years - except for my respite weeks and I can tell you everything deteriorates so if you think you can do better then DO IT.

Its called PUT UP or SHUT UP where I come from
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^^^ typo: should read "weekly visit by the facility physician".
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Nasmir, there is a waiting list for available beds in nursing home, so to say that a nursing home will try every trick in the book is confusing. When one patient leaves, another patient will be in the door later that day.

One has to put the patient's best interest above all others, thus if that person needs a higher level of care, a nursing home would be the best place as the patient has a nurse on his/her floor, plus a weekly visit by the facility hospital... unless one can afford to set up their home to resemble a nursing home plus hire 3 shifts of experience caregivers which is quite costly, but also quality care.
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Of course Nasmir...since you have two examples then it must apply to ALL nursing homes...*smh*

Angel
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Wow Nasmir...your comment is a complete fabrication..unless you are living in 1940? Everything you have said is completely wrong. Nowadays the elderly are living longer and are sicker, requiring the care of 3 shifts of people per day (24 hours a day) and its impossible for the average family to provide this care at home. Additionally, most nursing homes are comfortable, home-like environments with caring staff. Sure there will be a bad apple in the bunch but that goes for EVERYTHING. You really shouldn't come to a forum like this with such uninformed "advice" for people who need help. You really need to get educated on this subject.

Angel
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Thank you so much for that statement. This is exactally how I feel. I will take care of my mom for as long as I can before putting her in a nursing home. She was there for me when I raised my three kids. Now I will be there for her!! Hugs to you, Carole
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