My mom was diagnosed with dementia about 15 years ago. She is 77. My dad died in 2007. My sister and I realized immediately that although my mom was high functioning, that my dad had been living in denial. It was apparent that my mom could not live be herself. My mom was viciously resentful towards her "kids" trying to control her life. She still fights tooth and nail to persuade anyone who will listen that nothing is wrong with her and that we have put her away. When my dad died, we hired 24/7 live in care, to help to keep her safely in her home. After a very expensive year and her home flooding, we took the opportunity to move her to a very nice, assisted living/memory care facility in our home town. I had always thought that she would come to live with me in south Florida, but after a sample extended stay, we succumbed to keeping her closer to home. She still had friends and some family visiting. Moving her into the ALF was a horrible experience. Once there, she seemed to adjust and although she likes her space and the people treat her nicely, she now only complains that she is in jail. My sister begrudgingly handles all of mom's neccesities, except meds. I take care of mail ordering meds. My sister lives about an hour away. Due to my mom's mean spiritedness towards my sister, my sister spends as little time as possible with my mom. It is a really sad situation. When my sister makes the effort to spend quality time with my mom, it usually ends up miserably for my sister. My mom waits until my sister leaves the room to bad mouth her to anyone and everyone include my teenage neices. As time has moved on mom's friends have quit seeing her. She still gets a monthly visit from her childhood friend who is also my dad's sister. Her estranged brother sees her occasionally. My daughter who was in college near my mom, was visiting a couple of times a month and I get to see her maybe twice a year. My daughter has graduated and moved out of state. I use to fly her to my home in south Florida, but that trip became hard since the airlines quit flying direct to my town. Finally to my question. I suggested to my sister that we move her to Florida. My husband and I would both like to be able to spend more time with my mom. I think my sister would be happier. She thinks that it would be impossible for my mom to adjust to new surroundings. She also thinks that it would cause her disease to progress. Please share your thoughts. Am I just being seflish? Would it cause irrepairable damage to my mom? I think sooner than later would be better. I don't want to do harm.