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We have a family member who is cleaning and moving my mother n laws personal belongings to different areas of the home. when she asks for someone to get them for her and they are not where she put them she gets upset and seems to get more confused. Should her personal belonging be left she kept them.

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Yes, they should, unless items are being moved for reasons of safety. Your MIL's safety, that is. Not the items' safety.
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Well, obviously it is confusing and upsetting your MIL so it should be kept to a minimum. Change is inevitable, though, and you have to clean. I would try to keep her stuff in the places she expects to find them. Depends too, on whose house it is. Relative may feel justified in what she's doing if it's her house.
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Yes, absolutely. Say the elder has low vision called macular degeneration even a bottle of medication moved an inch or two away from its usual spot will cause severe confusion! They won't be able to function.
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Why does the person who does the cleaning rearrange items? Can this person understand and respect a request to leave things as they are? Move them to clean and then immediately put them back where they were. What is hard about that?

If this relative who is doing the cleaning has some problem understanding this simple concept, then I hope you can hire a cleaning person who will do as instructed.

Sometimes change is inevitable. I had to completely rearrange our bedroom when a hospital bed was brought in for my husband. By moving objects we made it possible for me to continue to sleep in the same room with him. That was a higher priority than keeping all the objects in place. Plus he needed a lot of new objects in that room.

Sometimes objects need to be removed because they now pose a risk.

We can't always keep everything exactly the same, but things should only be moved for well thought-out reasons.
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It would confuse ME if someone cleaning moved things around. I have come in after cleaning people have done the bathroom and everything is moved and I have a heck of a time putting things back just the way I want them. When papers get moved by me or someone else I have a difficult time readjusting my mind as to where things are.
So...short and simple if possible leave all personal items where they belong and where the person is more apt to be able to retrieve them. Hard enough to not get frustrated when you misplace something let alone someone moving things.
If things have to be removed that is one thing but other items that pose no danger should be left alone.
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Great range of answers here! I think all items the person uses should be left in the same place so she can find them. And items she likes and notices. Otherwise, it's fine, I think, to remove items, like put some things away, out of sight, if they are adding to her confusion - like put them in a special box labeled for her, and put it away - out of sight, out of mind, she doesn't need Everything kept in its place. Out of season clothing can be stored elsewhere. If it's in a special box, if she misses it, it can be promptly retrieved for her, with goodwill. In other words, the motive needs to include her wishes and her ability to navigate, with simplicity but familiarity also.
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There are some people in this world that thinks it is "funny" to move things and confuse the elderly. It is total cruelty! Maybe this family member is kind and just doesn't think the way many of us have learned to think in the world of dementia OR maybe they truly feel "put upon" to do this much needed task. Sorry to take this approach but I have learned many eye-opening things the past two years caring for my Dad. I just "fix" things and move on to the next. Good luck and hang in there!
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Yes, it is upsetting AND confusing, and highly distressing. The things should be wiped for dust with a baby wipie, the table cleaned, and the things put back the way the were exactly. That family member is trying to exert control and when it comes to things, unless there is a fire or health hazard, the person with dementia should be allowed to keep her things the way he/she put them.
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Yes, Just here, and many people have ideas on how to clear spaces and group items, so they clean that way, and think it's a "good" way, and they apply it even around elders - who may need the items in their exact place. As a professional caregiver, I've seen many kinds. For myself, I'm happy to learn a new way to tidy, to create more space, but an elder wants to have some control over their world, and they can worry they don't have any ability to navigate and ground themselves, if they cannot find the items they use - so their basic items should be carefully put back where they usually keep them. (Extra items, like some cosmetics or tubes of moisturizer etc, could be removed -simplicity helps also)
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My MIL still swears we stole all of her things when we moved her into our house 2 1/2 years ago. And if the grandkids come in and move something off the couch so they can sit down she'll start yelling the next day because they stole something that is just on the next cushion. Just leave things be.
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I took care of my mom for 6/7 years while she suffered with dementia. Each stage brought new challenges. I made it a practice to keep things generally in the same order for her to find them and function better in a predictable environment. Cleanliness and safety are certainly a consideration but I know I, personally, like my own belongings generally where I put them. Nothing remains the same in the dementia world but they need some sense of order for them. I tried labelling things but after a while they ignored the signs. I say, within reason, keep things in places that make sense to her.
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yes it will ..but my mom moves stuff too out of place she been putting wash rags & hand towels somewhere else than she use to ..so she might eventually do it her self so you have to keep track where she puts it or you will be the one losing stuff..my mom had it since 2011 may but earlier ...so you might be the one confused & when she does she will not remember where she put it ...so i hope you dont have a big place ..or you will really in trouble ..so you keep stuff you want safe & know where it is at before she does ..mine is really good at hiding stuff took a week to find her dentures -so much fun ..so pay attention cause 1 day the hiding game will begin ..good luck !!!!!!
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ROUTINE - ROUTINE - ROUTINE is the rule with the dementia care environment and schedule - NO CHANGE. All items should be left in place as she knew before she became impaired. Also the day's routine should stay the same, meals at the same time, activity, no rush to get ready for medical appointments, little travel, try to keep everything the same for the highest level of functioning.
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My general rule of thumb is that things should be placed and/or done the way my grandmother wants them UNLESS it is something that would adversely affect her health or others.
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Tell the relative to STOP moving her things!!
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My Mom's Dr was actually able to notice that Mom had dementia because of her confusion in the 'new environment' of his office. He took me aside and explained the importance of consistent surroundings. He said that not only does it help her to function at her 'current' best' but it also gives her greater ease and confidence as the familiar environment provides visual clues and cues that she is in a safe and known place.
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All I know is if someone moved my things around, it woulds confuse and upset me. I can't imagine what it would do to someone with dementia.
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When my mom was living at home and in early to middle stages SHE moved things around. We could never find things that we had left unattended and then she would swear she hadn't touched them. Sometimes we would find it,sometimes not. Thanks goodness it was only a few non essentials. She did hide my dad's expensive watch once and thank goodness we found it a few mos. later. Never found his wedding ring though. Anyway, somethings she did NOT want moved. I would move to dust or so she wouldn't trip and before I could blink she had put them back. I say clean and leave them where she wants them if they are big items. If they are small, she might not miss them. Out of sight out of mind. Good luck and God Bless
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I strongly agree about the safety issue. You should always try to keep most frequently used items where they know where to find them. My foster dad never really liked moving much of anything, one of those right brainers who never really liked moving anything from its permanent location. The reason why I know the difference between left brain and right brain people is because it was included in one of our college courses and we all took a multiple-choice question test to see where each of us stood. I happened to be mostly toward the middle but slightly off to the right, so I don't really like moving stuff either, especially big heavy items. My foster dad was the same way and the way his apartment was set up, it worked very well for him anyway to not move furniture. He was pretty well organized and kept every little thing in its proper spot. He would periodically misplace something and go pacing around and he would be upset until he found that item and then he was fine. Sometimes you don't necessarily need be demented in order to become a little confused at moving things to a new location, especially when you have a lot of stuff. Sometimes moving something to a new location can make it a little harder to find when you're used to it being in one spot long enough and suddenly move it to another. That's where prayer comes in handy. Anytime you can't find an item, you can always ask God for help, you'll eventually find it sooner or later. Sometimes I get frustrated if I can't find it when I most want or need it. The more frequently used item and the more I need it, the more upset I get if I can't find that item. I'm one of those kinds of people who will tear up the house just to find it and just like my foster dad, I'm fine after finding the item. Dad never tore up his house to find something, he just paced around looking around while he was pacing until he found the item. I have adopted his little strategy but I can only be on my feet so long due to lower lumbar arthritis. What I end up sometimes having to do is either go sit down on a comfortable seat or I'll actually go laydown to calm down if it's an important item, and I hate calling down until I find an item I'm looking for at the time I want or need it. I eventually found out that getting upset delays my search even longer, so God actually helped me calm down some but I'm still pretty upset to a reasonable point that I can't find something. I'll tell you what upsets me more is going around in circles where I know I had the item, and the tighter and smaller the circles I must go around in, I get downright mad and must call on God right away or it I'll lose it! I think the less I have, the easier it is to find. I think it would've been better if my foster dad also had less so things were easier to find should you misplace them. When you have a lot of stuff, things can be very hard to find if you happen to mislay it, but I found having less helps you find stuff easier. Again, you need not be demented to become frustrated and confused for mislaying stuff, not necessarily. The only advantage to having a lot of stuff is if you put the same thing back in the same spot each time and you happen to live alone and have very little company coming in and no one moving anything. Other than that downsizing is probably best for anyone demented or not
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DO NOT TOUCH MY STUFF!
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My mom has mild dementia. She lives with me but has her own bedroom, bathroom, and closets. Sometimes she will put things in unusual places in her bedroom and bathroom and then not be able to find them, but I can usually look around, find them, and put them back in the usual spots. However, a while back I was needing to clean out her closets because she had a lot of clothes that she no longer wore. Instead of upsetting her by just taking the clothes and donating them, I got her involved with the process. We spent a pleasant Sunday afternoon going through each piece of clothing with her deciding to "keep" or to "donate." She wanted to keep a lot of things, but I did get her to agree to donate about 1/3 of what she had. That's enough for now. I call that a small win. :)

There are many, many good suggestions here for you. Good luck!
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Someone here mentioned macular degeneration. An elderly friend of mine whose since died had it but oddly enough he was always either rearranging his room or having it rearranged. I don't know to what extent his blindness was, but apparently he was still able to see around the sides of his eyes, (around the spots). There were sometimes he would be knocking things over feeling around for them, but I'm not sure if he was the one putting them down in the wrong spot, this is possible. Oddly enough he was always losing pills. No one really seemed to know his pills were not really being stolen as he thought. It didn't take me long to secretly notice him dropping his pills or knocking them off the counter onto the floor. I'm just glad he was finally taken from the free world and put into a facility because he was a burden on the community.

Someone else mentioned moving things around for fun. I agree this is cruel, especially if an expensive table for instance is replaced with a cheap one and put in the same spot. I saw a sad story on TV many years ago about this very kind of thing that happened to a retired judge who went blind. I don't recall how long it was before he noticed something different about the new table, but I think it was his female caregiver who was coming in to his very comfortable luxury home and caring for him. I don't recall how many other people she did this to, but I think there were others with similar things like this happening to them. I don't recall who got the authorities involved, but the person was exposed and I think was eventually taken into custody. To move something on someone is one thing because the item is still there though the blind on or may not know where. However, what's even worse is to have something of value stolen only to discover it when the person who stole it is long gone and possibly even the property. Once the property is gone, it may be sold and the person buying it is unknowingly buying hot property. I don't recall if property already bought by a new owner is ever recovered, but I think this would be the right thing to do. If stolen property bought by a new unsuspecting buyer, a full refund should be given when the property is recovered for return to the rightful owner from whom it was originally stolen.

Now, getting back to moving stuff, I noticed someone mentioned grandkids coming in and having to move something to sit down, this is fine as long as you put the item where it was before leaving. That way, there is less chance of that demented elder getting upset because the item is already in it's usual spot. Sometimes when things are laying around, it's absolutely necessary to move something so you can sit down when visiting, so please remember to put things back where you found them before leaving. That way, everyone is happy later. Courtesy always pays off.

If you have someone coming in to clean the home for your elder, make sure they understand how to put things back right where they were and explain why. Perhaps someone may come in who has no experience whatsoever with dementia or Alzheimer's patients. I know that in order to gain experience, you must start somewhere and maybe even having experienced people guide you as you're learning along the way. If you must move something to clean around it, always put things back whether or not the person has any form of mental decline, this is the right thing to do.

Routine was also mentioned here. Routine is good for anyone who feels comfortable with it, demented or not, routine is good. My foster dad had a routine. Not everyone has a particular routine, but some people do whether or not they experience dementia or Alzheimer's. Routine may be most helpful for suffers of memory loss or other mental decline because for some, change can be very traumatizing and also very confusing.

I must admit that even if you don't have any form of decline, sometimes changing even a normal person's routine when they're used to routine can be very upsetting, even downright angering. I don't have any particular routine, but I might occasionally adopt at very least a temporary one for a while. When I get good and comfortable and someone steps in the way, it can make me a downright angry depending on the situation. Routine can be very good for anyone if there happens to be something that draws you to routine. Routine is not necessarily for everyone, routine can actually become very tiring and very draining.
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I had a lot of stuff on bedside table so my cleaning lady saw an unused basket - she put most in there & it is easier for me to find plus less falls on floor making it safer - so maybe a tray or low sided basket might help her - it will look neater & more orginized to boot - have her help do this but basically everything should be in about same place - your helping family member will see that what is in it belongs WHERE IT IS
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I'd make sure the family member really is moving the items. Sometimes, people who have dementia misplace things and then say that someone else moved it. They really believe it, but, I'd make sure what they are saying is true.
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My sisterhood has Alzheimer's -- would spend a lot of time rearranging things in her bedroom & then forget that she had.She wore hearing aids- she would wear one & hide the other one.She would keep her bills together,such as electric bill ,propane, phone bill-but trying to to pay the bills she always would bring out older bills.So re arranging things in her home would be even more confusing to her.It does not get any easier!!
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Elders cannot adapt to change. Even small incremental differences can upset their life balances.
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