We hate the idea of blind-siding my mom, but after much thought and deliberation, it's the only way we will be able to get her out of her house and into the MC apartment. Current plan is for my sister to distract her with a long outing while we go in and move her basic needs and some furniture into her apartment and then we have lunch together and leave. A week or two later I'll bring the rest of her needs. I'm completely confident in the team at her MC to deal with the inevitable ugliness and I'm fine with not going by there for several days or more. Since her main complaint is loneliness, boredom, and not feeling useful, we are hoping there's a chance she will actually appreciate the complete change of scenery and lifestyle. But of course that's out of our hands.
If you've done this kind of thing before, your suggestions might be helpful to us. Please don't suggest we shouldn't surprise her. She will never, ever come around to the idea of leaving her home in spite of how miserable she claims to be, and equates "homes" with being institutionalized. And she has no idea what's best for her well-being anymore.
When visiting her, we plan to frame it as a place to visit for a while, do some volunteer work, and make some friends. When she frets about the cost just tell her its the same as her mortgage. Which she doesn't remember anyway. I mean, she currently doesn't believe she's in her own home anyway.
TIA for the good vibes! It'll be a day!