Mom is 89 and refuses to go to AL - How do I get it there? She wants to move back to Maine by herself

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I am experiencing the same dilemma, but my dad usually doesn't remember where he lived before he came to live with us. We have toured 5 homes &dad doesn't remember any of them. He wants to see his options & I want him to be included if possible. We know as the Alzheimer's dementia progresses we will no longer be able to care for him at home. One of the assisted living homes suggested Dad see a gerontologist to help with the decision. There are some good articles on here that deal with the same question. Good luck to you & your mom. Sorry, I could not be of help to you.
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On your profile I see that you live in Florida. Does Mom live with you or in her own home, apartment, condo, etc?

I also see that Mom has dementia. That certainly is a critical piece of the picture.

Mom wants to move many states away, on her own. You want her to move to an Assisted Living facility. A number of questions come to mind.

1. Why does Mom need to move at all? (I'm not suggesting she doesn't need to, just want some details about why.)
2. Does Mom have close family still in Maine? Would any of them be willing/be suitable caregivers for her?
3. What is Mom's financial situation?
4. How did you decide that AL is the best option for her? Have you considered anything else, like group home or memory care units?

With a few more details, I think you'll get several answers from people who have been where you are now.
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This is a hard question to answer and a difficult decision to make. Continue talking to your mom about moving and try to explain to her that a new environment may be what she needs. Let her know that moving is very emotional and that you understand. Then, you could choose two or three facilities, let the staff know you're coming to visit and take mom with you. Good luck.
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