Moving my Mom from assist living because no assist. -

Moving my Mom from assist living because no assist.


The place gets almost 5000 a month and the food well its not good or healthy or good period. I am moving her myself with help of family, my Moms income is steady and is 7000 a month. She keeps crying poor with nearly 400000 in assets . She has spent almost 160000 living at this place for just 3 years. When she fell heart attac kin her room could not reach cord on wall and lay for 3 hours till help came. I hate the place and the food I feel bad weak and tired after a week of this crap. I turned down a job to help her and missed out on 3000 last week because I was here in LA moving her, is it wrong to want our cost of travel and compensation for lost wages? I have taken and paid things rather than hear about and go through how broke she is and if she has any money left, her morgage is 1500 saving her a 3200 a month she has had,,,I dont want to be ungreatful but I have given up my life as I should for her.

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No, it's not wrong to want compensation for your lost wages when your mother has the assets. Some people of that generation (those who grew up in the depression) never get over their fear of having no money, so no matter how much they have, they act like they are broke. I hope that you can find an advocate - a friend of your mom's or a family member - who can speak up for you and let her know that you don't have her financial cushion and could use reimbursement.
Good luck,
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Cheryl - find an experience elder law attorney preferably one who has a practice in the county where her property is located and have them update all her legal to make you DPOA, MPOA, "Guardianship in Case of Incapacity" and then do a fully legal for your state "personal care" contract for mom to pay for your caregiving and management of her affairs which mom pays to you from her assets & income. This site has a drop down list of elder law attorneys where you can start your search. Also speak with them regarding how the ownership of her condo(?) is done and how best to approach the mortgage and HOA dues.

ALthough 400large seems like a huge amount of money, at some point she will run out of $$$ you will run out of steam in caregiving and mom will need to go into a facility. And Medicaid will be applied for to pay for her stay there. You have to be legally prepared for this so that you either are fully compliant with Medicaid requirements and minimize any "transfer penalty" that could apply to her income.
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What Carol said. Amen to that.
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I think you should try a different care facility. My mom is in one in Mississippi and the cost is less than $3000/mo. She has fine dining facilities and wears an alarm to summon help. This includes help with her meds and assistance with bathing. Don't give up. There are good ones out there.
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