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My mom has MS and has been in nursing homes the past three years. My husband is active duty army and we have already moved my mom with us from GA to TN. She is currently in a nursing home that mostly tends to her needs. All rooms are private, it’s very clean, and for the most part they are decent people trying to run it (she only has Medicaid or is it Medicare, I always confuse the two :) ). My husband can retire from the military in less than two years and we are itching to move somewhere where we can choose what state and town to live in. Only thing really holding us back is my mom, who is generally up for change, but has been in unmanageable pain the past 1 1/2 years. The issue is that she is very sensitive to medications and it’s really hard finding what works for her. We are currently trying neurotin, she just asked for them to start it 3 times a day, but it can make her very confused and drowsy. She can barely make a trip 5 minutes away.... How could she manage a trip out of state with her is a wonder to me and I am thinking there is no way. But I thought I’d ask on here if anyone has experience with this, with moving someone in pain far. I cannot think of any way. We are working on managing the pain but I just don’t see it happening to the point where we can move her. Should we just accept that we should stay where we are at? That would be okay and we would be fine, but we really dream of living in the mountains and our young kids having that experience growing up. Any advice or experiences are welcome! :)

If she moves out of state Medicaid stops at the state line. You’ll have to make sure you get residency requirements etc lined up first. It will be a full time job to get set up and the pain of move may accelerate any dementia. And will specialists be available in new locale? Talk to current providers as some Medicare insurance is not available in all states.
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EBeach Jul 20, 2018
Yes, I’ve moved her with her Medicaid and Medicare from VT to GA to AL to TN. It’s not an enjoyable task. We could just make sure we stay in our state just move more east. Thank you for reminding me of that!
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If you're already in TN then you're already close to some mountains... We have a lot of veterans retire in Northeast TN because of the medical school and VA hospital.

If the move is close enough for a day drive, you might consider hiring an ambulance transportation service. Many have a gurney bed that's wider than a normal ambulance and as comfortable or even more so than someone's traditional hospital bed. For some people the vibration (even when riding fully reclined on a nice soft bed) is a problem. Anyone with prior motion sickness issues wouldn't do well either.

As to managing her pain, during the trip I would recommend using whatever handles the pain best even if it makes her drowsy. You can restart the normal medication schedule in her new facility.
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EBeach Jul 20, 2018
Thank you for your reply! Ambulance transportation would be perfect. I wonder if they could do night trips and what she’d think about the meds. Being dowsy wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing if it helps her sleep but I wouldn’t want her dizzy. She probably won’t go for it but I’ll at least ask if it comes down to it. My husband absolutely loves VA mountains but both of us also really enjoy being in eastern TN. It’s still a good 5 hours from us though, I’ll see. But I will stick with looking within TN I think for now.
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This is a tough one. It sounds like moving her would cause your dear mom more pain and that’s the last thing you’d want to do. But after years of bopping around, you want to live your dream.

A lot of soul-searching is required here. Do you visit Mom very frequently? Since her Care needs are being met in a facility you say is satisfactory, could you forgo visiting often and perhaps visit less frequently to live in your dream location? Or, get out a map and determine a location that would be agreeable to you and that is also close to Mom?

Since Mom’s health is so compromised right now, I wouldn’t move her.
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EBeach Jul 20, 2018
I visit twice a week and would not want to be more than 45 minutes from her. Maybe I’ll speak with a local realtor and see what’s available within that radius. Thank you!
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