It’s time for our mom to move in one of our homes. How disruptive would it be if she lived with one of us for 3 weeks and the other for 1 week a month? - AgingCare.com

It’s time for our mom to move in one of our homes. How disruptive would it be if she lived with one of us for 3 weeks and the other for 1 week a month?

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How would you and your sibling feel if YOU had to live with mom on that same basis? If that would work for you then it might work out for your mom. Otherwise, I would look for a solution that lets your mom stay put for at least a year at a time and much longer if possible. For example, suppose the one week/month sibling contributes toward a professional home-care provider/companion who could stay with mom for one week a month to give you a break...It is much easier for mom to stay put and adjust to changing caregivers than it would be to move twice a month.
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I completele understand and everyone does need a break, its ideal in the healthy world and if it works, great. But, even if my Mom goes OUT for a day with someone different, she is a bear to live with for days. Routine is so important at some stages of dementia/alz, depends on her really. Best of luck to you.
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My 90 year old mother in law lives with her 3 daughters.
Two daughters live in NJ and the other daughter lives NC?
Everyone takes a turn usually 2-6 months depending on weather, family vacation plans, and "tolerance levels".
So your question...It is disruptive to move? Weekly yes, monthly probably not, yearly definitely not..my god everyone needs a break!
So moving less frequently is better. But everyone needs a break.
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I think you really need to ask her doctor about this.
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I also say its a big NO. My doctor told us that ONE FACE-ONE PLACE is best, moving around will confuse them terribly. How does your Mom feel about it because mine didnt even want to leave her own house, but finally had to. She in no way wanted to go from house to house and told us so. Your Mom might be okay now but it will certainly not last. If not a good idea, I wouldnt ever do it either, routine is very important because it makes a confused person feel safer. Anything you read will tell you the same I am sure because I researched it before I asked the hospital and doctor and they all told me the same, one face/one place is best.
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Having personal experience with this when I was younger and my Great-grandmother did this for the last three years of her life. It was incredibly difficult on all those involved and she never felt quite wanted anywhere really. How about if she lived in one home and all the others contributed dollars towards non-medical home care hours to be used by the full time family as they see fit?
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I think how she handles it will be influenced by how it's presented to her. If she sees her home as being with your brother and she gets to go visit you for a week each month, she will probably look forward to it as a little trip or vacation. Since she is probably forgetful, call several days before you are coming to get her to remind her that you want her to come for a visit and how much you are looking forward to seeing her. It stead of the change confusing her it may provide extra stimuli. Wish you the best!
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Well I won't lie, there are times I wish my Mom was in a nursing home, just to get my life back, but then she will tell me "thank you" she is my mother and I will keep her with me as long as possible. It's not always possible to keep them home, but if you can I would. Has taught me alot about patience, love and how to enjoy the little moments. Has also beed good for my sons, a little bit of reality in their video game world. Good luck
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Keep her with family. I am sure that there are a few nursing homes that are good but family especially a loving caring family like yours is the best medicine for her. She will learn the routine and be exicited for each change. Giver her this time with you.
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Thanks to everyone who has responded. I'm saddened to hear how many families have siblings who aren't helping. My brother, sister and mother live 100 miles away in the same town. I go down every other weekend to help. She has care-givers coming in during the day but we need coverage when she sleeps. The options are 3 weeks/month with bro and 1 week/month me or a nursing home. I keep thinking the love but confusion she'll experience with her family is better than the stability she'll have in a nursing home but I'm not sure.
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