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My family found a lovely AL place that offers some optional activities like crafts, yoga, bingo. Residents can have their own cars if they wish but there are also residents with high health needs. So the residents have a wide scope of functionality. There is also a dedicated memory facility but the residents there have significantly limited abilities.
My mom is 84 and has lived in her house for over 50 years. Has moderate Alz and very limited short term memory. No problems with mobility and in decent health. Needs no help with ADL. Needs some help with the independent living ones, like managing finances and taking meds. Very talkative and social. Goes to a memory care day care a couple of days a week that is filled with activities and outings and she loves it. She could potentially continue to stay in her home another year or two but she lives alone and causes problems for the ppl we get to help her. Also her house needs some repairs and the truth is we her children are getting a little worn out from managing the situation because she puts up so much resistance.
So she is going to an AL place that does not seem to have the level of organized activities like her day care place. But the memory care facility is not appropriate either. It seems to me that her needs are somewhere in between the two places. Does this kind of place exist and, if so, what is it called?

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Eventually with dementia, the need for activities will wane. In the AL I am familiar with the staff goes to the rooms and announces the activity and if needed escorts the person to them.

You are not going to get 100% 1 to 1 service in AL. If your mother still has most of her facilities she will go on her own.

There is no perfect in life, sometimes we need to roll with what is the best option.
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Reply to MeDolly
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Morningstar Senior Living facilities have the in between options you're looking for. It's a chain but they only exist in certain states. Here is a link.

https://www.morningstarseniorliving.com/find-a-community/

Make sure the one you click on has Memory Care too. They combine MC with AL for the residents which creates a unique experience.

Best of luck to you.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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AlvaDeer May 6, 2025
Interesting, Lea. At the time that my brother died his ALF was just doing these "in between" facilities, where residents weren't free to come and go, the staffing was bumped up, but they were not in the traditional MC, had their own rooms and etc. I think we will be seeing more of this to come.
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The aids are companion aids. My 2 elderly Aunts had an awesome one from an agency. She did light housekeeping with them, ironing, food prep, played board and card games with them, watched tv with them, talked politics and other topics they agreed on, took them on walks, did PT with them, and she drove them on errands. Does your Mom need to have a 3-ring circus? No she doesn't. It's ok for her to have down time with nothing going on.
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Reply to Geaton777
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You can consider hiring a team of 2 or more companion aids to be with her in her home. This may get less resistance, maybe not. But as long as the aids know what they're supposed to do with her every day, and you can endure the management (or go through an agency) then this may be an option.

The types of care offerings can vary widely from place to place. My MIL was in an excellent faith-based facility that had a full-time activities director and had lots of things going on every day. There's not going to be a perfect solution, so maybe you can develop a list of "Must haves" and "Dealbreakers" as a filter.
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Jennyjenjen Apr 29, 2025
Thank you. I don't think she needs aides as much as she needs a lot of activities and someone to make her do them with people who are also very forgetful. I was thinking we should send her to another day care place. But it seems like such overkill. Living in AL and going to daycare! Does anyone even do that?
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