Follow
Share

Her bathing at the sink scares me of falls.


I recently moved my mom into a new AL and the faucets for hot/cold water in the shower are opposite. They told me they had to go up into the ceiling to fix the problem, that it would be a real chore but are trying to get a plumber there. It has been two weeks. Mom has been slowly, over the last several months, changing her bathing habits already and has been fine with not using the shower. Several times they took her to an empty room to use that shower. Mom tells me it’s fine because she can bathe at the sink! In my opinion this is a big risk for falling! For some reason that really bugs the crap out of me...oh well, at least she got a shower. Last week they made a sign for her in the shower to remind her that the faucets are backwards. My question is, do I patiently wait another week to see if they got a plumber coming or call again, my last call was last Thursday. I hate to start out complaining about this new place but it is very expensive to live there...$4500! I’ve considered asking for a new room but the thought of what that consists of just wears me down. Plus my mom already struggles with moderate dementia and is happy with not bathing, I could see this turning into a real big habit of skipping showers.


Am I overreacting?

Thank you all for the advice!
I called again today, politely but firmly expressed my concerns. They said a plumber would be there next week but after hearing me out, they returned my call and said the plumber will be there tomorrow!
You all gave me the confidence that I needed today...it’s been a rough month.
Helpful Answer (15)
Reply to Bella7
Report
Zdarov Aug 29, 2019
bella, good for you, and I’m sorry you had to work on this issue so much, there’s plenty going on already. So glad you got these great replies. FYI we pay about the same for my mom’s place in VA (don’t know where you are) and it’s plenty of money, but places can be much more expensive! Mom’s is very highly regarded, but I’ve had several of the same kinds of issues: reported heat pump was heating degrees below the setting in Jan before she moved in, *five* more visits after she was there until it was fixed; toilet won’t flush, they simply reattach the chain then it happens again; her smoke alarm was reporting a problem to their monitoring system, they’d come to the apartment all times of day or night, not knowing it’d happened several times before because they don’t log those events. Omg. On the last one I blew my gasket, got the resident services gal involved, who ‘helped’ but in the end didn’t help to get at the root of the problem.

This is such a stressful time, hang in there. 💐
(6)
Report
See 2 more replies
No, you are NOT overreacting.

Dh 'finished' our 2nd bath he did the same thing. It drove insane. He also put the shower head at about a 7 foot level, so there is nowhere in there to "get out of the way' to soap up and wash. He was so defensive--and the kids wouldn't use it.

We had more than one houseguest get a scalding blast before they figured it out (altho I always told them!)

I also had a real plumber here for a small issue and he fixed the plumbing in about 1/2 hour. Said it was actually a code issue.

Your mother could easily be burned by this and a negligence lawsuit to follow!
I would insist on moving her or making this be a TOP priority ASAP.

This room should not even be in USE!!! They are taking advantage of your good nature.
Helpful Answer (9)
Reply to Midkid58
Report

Make a call to the city / town building inspector and ask if this is allowed under the ordinance. It may well be that the AL has to fix the problem because it is not in compliance.
Helpful Answer (8)
Reply to AlanBingham
Report

You are NOT overreacting. If you need to go higher in the "chain of command" at this facility. A senior with dementia -WILL NOT REMEMBER that the faucets are backwards, and probably not remember to read any signs. This entire situation is NOT ACCEPTABLE. Call and check every day if you must. Do not let this ride. She is not getting what she is paying for and only has you (all her children) to stand up for her.
Helpful Answer (8)
Reply to Angelheart2
Report

No, I don’t think you’re over-reacting. I do think, however, that Mom needs to be moved to a room where everything is in the right order. Respectfully but firmly put your foot down and tell them you’ll be there (pick a time and a date that works for you) to help them move her.
Helpful Answer (7)
Reply to Ahmijoy
Report

Depending on her age, a lot of seniors were raised in the depression and had no indoor plumbing - including my DH. Cleaning yourself at a basin was normal and "bathing" was done maybe once a week and it was a chore bringing water up from the creek to boil for bathing, not everyone had the convenience of a well. Rural communities didn't get electricity until after WWII. If you didn't live in town, you learned to do without.

However, it's inexcusable for AL to have the plumbing backwards. If they have been able to take Mom into another room for showering, why can't they let Mom have the other room??
Helpful Answer (7)
Reply to RayLinStephens
Report

Holy Cow! AL gave you a crappy excuse. You pay them tons of money to care for your mom and they could not put the faucets in correctly? Ask the director if he/she lives like that at home.
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to Worriedspouse
Report

No you’re not overreacting. It’s quite a coincidence, but when Mom moved to her Independent Living apt, the hot and cold was backward as well! When I complained the staff was befuddled because the previous resident hadn’t complained about it, and they almost didn’t believe us. But they inspected, and got it fixed in about 1 day. No way would I have let it go much longer as it’s a huge potential for scalding. So yes, keep calling.
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to rocketjcat
Report

This is DANGEROUS.
Call the City, County Building department or Code Enforcement.
If that gets you nothing contact the State Ombudsman they will take the complaint.
I am wondering if all the faucets in the facility are like this or just this one.
Most connections are under the sink and it is an easy fix to change the hot and cold line just by detaching and then crossing the lines to the other connection.
If this is the case I would be tempted to do it myself or hire a plumber.
It might be that after you make the complaints, after you inform (in writing) the AL that you will hire someone to do this and the cost will be reduced from what she pays monthly they might just get around to doing it.
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to Grandma1954
Report
Lymie61 Aug 29, 2019
This is in the shower and those lines aren't always as easy to get to as sink lines, otherwise I'm with you I would just do it myself! Also I think OP did say they took mom to another room/apartment to shower one day where the hot and cold weren't reversed so it doesn't sound like the whole place is like that but I may be wrong.
(4)
Report
Bella, did the plumber show up yesterday?

You are doing an awesome job as your mom's advocate. I don't like to have to go to the hard nose stance as my dad's advocate, but I find that it is usually what gets things done now a days. Unfortunate that people only respond when pressured. Good job lady!
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to Isthisrealyreal
Report

See All Answers

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter