I don't often see posts where the adult child gave up their home to move in with their parents to help care for an ailing parent, yet this is what I did. I felt it would be easier to not uproot my mother, who is in the early stages of Alzheimers.
The problem is that my father, who is healthy and active, feels that I should "wait" and take over care for my mother after work and on weekends in exchange for free rent. I'm not exactly living free as I pay for their cable, groceries and storage fees for all my furniture from my own house. He doesn't allow my mother to do anything. I feel that it would be good for her to help prepare dinner, as much as she is capable of, such as stirring a pot or making a salad but he demands she sit down so I can "serve" her (his words).
This was not the arrangement I was expecting! I'm basically confined to my bedroom, expected to watch my mother whenever my father goes out after I come home from work and weekends and give up all social life. I have to justify every time I'm out of the house and say when i'm returning. I'm feeling alot like Cinderella! I hired a housekeeper that I paid for so I wouldn't spend my weekends cleaning but that idea was rejected after only one visit.
I can't go out, can't go to church and feel trapped. Yet, my father isn't capable of caring for my mother 24/7 and her health was in jeopardy because of that before I moved in. My dad is stubborn, demanding and is difficult. He will not consider live in help, visitng help or even talk about her future care needs.This is his home, his rules. I'd like to move out but even if I do, the situation of my mother not being able to be left alone still won't be solved so I'll still be expected to give up my free time. Any advice?