RETIREMENT HOME There is a Golden Mesa Retirement Community here where my husband can get his three meals a day that have been hard for me to provide due to my fragile health. I would also get housekeeping help for which now I have to hire out. There will be no yard work for which now I also have to hire out--both with a lot of frustration given the quality of help available in my city to do these jobs. Given these expenses, mortgage, utilities, food, cable, etc.--all housing expenses, it will cost about $300 more every month to live in the retirement community.
The staff are happy, the residents are happy, the atmosphere is great. But then, that is why it is expensive. The other 2 communities in town do not offer meals nor housekeeping.
THE DOWN SIDE is that if my husband should precede me in death, and my income gets cut in half, I would have to move out because I couldn't afford it anymore. But I can move into a small apartment then. I'm flexible.
Second down side is that I will not have a house anymore which makes me very nervous. Renting the house is an option we have looked into, but is not a good one.
With no equity in our current house, best case scenario is I won't have a house payment anymore. Worst case; selling it may still leave me with a mortgage balance, as the market is bad here.
DOWN SIDE: If (or when) he gets worse, I won't have the income to hire extra help for his care. That is not a service the community provides.
SECOND CHOICE: After a year of looking, I may have finally found a permanent caregiver to come 5 days a week to stay with my husband. She has worked with us for the last 2 days and has cleaned areas where the others haven't. She is a real go-getter, excellent cook, and has experience caring for elderly. And we agree on the price. And I really want to have my own place rather than rent for the rest of our lives.
DOWN SIDE TO CAREGIVER If she were to no longer be available for some unforeseen reason, I am back to square one.
The senior community is really putting on the pressure to sign with them offering me 2 weeks free. I still would have to come up with $3K move in fee and $4800 to lock in the rent for life. I can come up with that from our savings, but I still don't know.
Either way, it will cost a lot and I will have to be very frugal from now on. Both right now while he is still capable of dressing and feeding himself, I can go to my appointments, therapies, etc. without worrying about him or dragging him along when he doesn't want to go. I can also resume my senior citizen center classes which are therapy for me.
My priority is my husband, his care, his meals, his safety. And I am so tired, I cannot care for him 24/7 alone anymore. So if you were in my shoes, what would you do?