We've been married only 3 years. We have no children, my MIL is 62 and has some minor medical issues. She's going to retire in about a month and when I ask her what her plan is, it's basically for us to find a home with an in law suit for her.
My mil is great and we have a good relationship, but I don't want to live with her. My own mother is 71 has mobility issues but won't give up her independence. I just feel it's not really fair to my own mom to take in my mil and couldn't image living with both of them. I feel terrible and selfish, but at the same time I have things I want to accomplish and places I want to travel and I think having them living with us will hinder that. I'm actually afraid to have a baby because I think it will make my mil worst about living with us. I'm I wrong to just want to have my own home with my own family? Another issue is my husband is an only child so there is no one else for his mom. I have 2 sisters, one lives out of state the other also has mobility issues so I can't really lean on her for help with my own mother. So even though I'm not an only child I am the only child who is readily available for my mom. I've been trying to talk my mom into going with my sister who lives out of state, my sister has 2 kids and a in law suite and she wants my mom to come there to help with the kids this would great, but I don't see it happening because my mom wants to stay in the state we live it and I think she would prefer living with me if she needed to live anywhere. I'm close to my mom but I also love having my own space for a mental health break. My mil has a 2 sisters when I mention maybe she get a place with one of them she makes a face. My husband is a little bit of a mamas boy and this puts me in an awkward situation as well. I know it's terrible I sometimes think about running away and just not coming home and I joke about getting my own apartment and my husband can have the house the moms and the dog....although sometimes I think I might be serious. I want to move soon but I feel like I have all these obstacles standing in my way and the only way to keep people from coming to live with us is to stay in the house we're in. Our house is small, there is no off street parking and has lots of stairs so it's not ideal for aging parents. The area is getting a little dicey here and that is why I want to move but I know if we buy a bigger home we might have permanent house guest immediately following.