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My decision to live with my grown child has been tearing me apart. Her home is in Tx, mine was in Fl. I am unable to live in my home due to a probate issue, long story, though I do get some money for rent of it. Daughter got divorced 2 yrs ago. For the past 3 yrs I have been going back and forth. My daughter and I don't always get along. She has said some really mean, and hurtful things to me in the past, which alcohol was involved on her part.
She has a boyfriend now (he lives 2 doors down), and has her own business and makes a very good living. She has a life. I don't have friends, I feel like I don't have a life in Tx. It has always been very hard for me to say no to my daughter, out of guild for being a single parent, but I am trying to change that about myself. My daughter does pay someone as a personal assistance/ sitter. I am 60 and started getting survivors SS since last Oct. I don't pay rent, but I do pay for things I want, and food. I don't cook per say, picky eaters here. I take complete care of my dog and their dog, laundry, grocery shopping, keep house clean, run errands, have a part time job 2 days a week, and play with granddaughter. My daughter works long hours and pays an Assistance/Sitter $1400.00 a month to basically pick up granddaughter from school/daycare, cook dinner( she can't cook either),give bath and put to bed each night, plus clean house every other week. I was cleaning behind her, and cooking just for granddaughter, but stopped doing that.
I feel that my daughter is disrespectful and demanding of me. Examples: Daughter was up stairs, I was curling my hair, she yells for me to come up stairs, I didn't answer, then she yells at the top of lungs "NOW". I come from my bathroom and yell at her not to speak to me that way. My granddaughter and a friend of my daughters saw the whole thing. Even one of my daughters friends made a comment to me once that they thought she treated me bad, and demands to much of me. She is always wanting me to bring something up stairs to her. There is always a "To do list" per say for me. Now I am seeing that my granddaughter is treating me the same way.
My issue is leaving my daughter and granddaughter for me to feel independent, have my own space and time to do things I want or need for me (freedom). I lived in an emotional abusive marriage for 24 yrs, which he killed himself in 2013, hence me moving back and forth. I want to move back to Fl, again, where I grew up, but with intentions to buy me a place, work and be with old friends and other family members. This time I will be taking all of my belongings that have been here for the past 3 yrs. I will continue to come and visit but only stay 2 weeks instead of 2 or 3 months. My daughter keeps telling me that I need to stay for my granddaughter and that she is going to take it pretty hard. I have told my daughter that I have always come and gone my granddaughters life and that she will be fine. Anyways, yes I feel guilty, I don't want my daughter to be hurt. I know that life is so much easier for her when I'm around, and trust me more than anyone with my granddaughter. My brother and sister don't want to hear about this any more and I understand so I don't talk about it to them., and I'm ok with that, But my heart is being torn apart. Am I being selfish by not wanting to live with my daughter and adhering to her every beck and call demands.? I don't feel that moving and hour or 2 hours away would do any good. I might end up being completely alone in a place I know nothing about. What do I do?

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You're younger than I am! Go back to Florida and enjoy your life. They have some great senior communities there, so maybe you would like to rent, instead of buying. That way you wouldn't have to worry about maintenance -- the life of Riley. Enjoy yourself. It sounds like life is not very rewarding in TX. You still have such a large part of your life to live. Might as well be happy.
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En vino veritas. Liquid courage. Alcohol tends to bring out what there is. So if your daughter mean to you, she meant it.

A loving family that treats you with the respect you deserve doesn't always have to be blood-related. Go home and reinvent your life.
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Sunnygirl- I think so too - a grand adventure!
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I would strongly consider making a home somewhere that I am happy. I'd ignore the guilt trip from your daughter. Her disrespectful treatment of you is inexcusable. Has she always been that way? You say your husband was not kind either. Did she pick it up from him? You may have not been able to do much if your husband allowed her to be that way. It's unfortunate, but she should be cherishing every minute of your company and not modeling poor behavior for her daughter. Shame on her. You can make the time up with your granddaughter later. Better that she doesn't learn bad behavior from her mom.

But, I would make my home and surround myself with friends and people who make me smile. You can do it, I would think it would be a grand adventure.
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Go! You are only six years older than me - I can not imagine giving up my own life, living as I choose to in that short time. Tell your daughter "I love you but I have to do this - for myself AND for you". Tell your granddaughter "I love you and I'll see you soon - maybe you can come visit me in Florida"!
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Absolutely ditto Glad's comment. You're young and able....plus you answered your own Q in your post when you said, "I want to move back to Fl again...."....Do it!....visit when you want, by all means, but do what you need to , and are still well able, to do to be happy, now!
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Go back to Florida. You are still youg. You may not be paying rent, but you are more than earning your keep, and to be treated badly on top of it. You can still visit a few times a year if you want Life is too short to live in a difficult situation.
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