Mom is 94, has dementia, and refuses to move out of her home, or even entertain the thought of it. She won't even go on a tour of a facility. I have an appointment for an assessment on her and hope to get her healthcare POA activated. So here is the question, even with that, how do I get Mom moved? I can lie and tell her we are going out to lunch, but when we drive up to the facility, she will know better. What if she refuses to get out of the car? Ideas on how to pull this off would be most appreciated.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
We dealt with the same thing with my MIL. Would she consider allowing someone to come sit with her during the day/night? Unfortunately to actually move someone against their will I believe you will need to obtain guardianship of that person - POA doesn't carry enough power. After begging her to go my MIL's situation became so dire that we became her guardians. We called an ambulance and the police - bless their hearts - herded her out of the house. She was livid at the time but couldn't remember it 20 minutes later (she has severe dementia). She was transported to the facility by ambulance. She's been in a memory care unit for 6 weeks and can't even remember that she owned a home. Good Luck. It's so hard dealing with someone when they dig their heels in and refuse to move. Your area office on aging may be able to give you some advice as well as the facility you would like to move her to.
Helpful Answer (2)

Thanks vstefans, I have tried to get her to go and have lunch at a facility, no luck. And, at 94, she has no friends left to go out to lunch with, so I can't trick her with that one. I assume if she refuses a tour, she will refuse an open house.
Helpful Answer (1)

You COULD just go for a lunch at a facility, ideally with a couple other friends the first trip...some of them may have some kind of open house or let prospective residents have a meal there if you pre-arrange it. But if she really cannot stay at home, even with whatever help you can arrange and a lifeline, and refuses you may have to go ahead and get guardianship as painful as that may be.
Helpful Answer (0)

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter